Apartment 4A
by DuckieKinz
Summary: "So I have a new neighbour. And this new neighbour is my smoking hot (literally) crush from high school. Joy."
1. Chapter 1

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So I have a new neighbour. And this new neighbour is my smoking hot (literally) crush from high school. Joy of all joys I am going to be living fifteen feet away from a man that I am intensely attracted to and stalked a little bit.

Of course he wasn't particularly aware of this, partly because I only ever made moony eyes at him from afar (by afar, of course, I mean two cafeteria tables across from his, or from behind the bookcase in the library etc, and yes I do realise that I sound like a creeper) and partly because he had no idea I existed. If I had ever doubted that before, I certainly do not doubt it any more. All those day-dreamy thoughts I used to have, wondering whether he ever noticed me semi-stalking him have been put to rest. He did not. Nope, he had no idea. Nada. Zilch. Nil. Zero. Nothing.

So this is what happened, when Mrs Robinson moved out she left me her mailbox key to give to the new tenant because she didn't trust the building supervisor, Mr Littman to pass on the mail to her, a valid concern considering that in the one year I had lived here he had only been seen once(although that may be because there's nothing that he ever needs to supervise, I mean really the building is in awesome shape when you think about all the shit it's been through). So when I came home to find boxes stacked outside the apartment while the door was slightly open and I heard someone talking I figured the new tenant had finally moved in and rang the bell. The door is answered by the one and only Warren Peace, brooding extraordinaire, resident bad boy,voted Most handsome **and **Most likely to become a supervillain in the yearbook, who stood there looking extremely disgruntled at the sight of a wide-eyed, gawking version of me.

He looks much more grown up now. I mean I know we're not in high school anymore and since he's an important journalist now he can't exactly go around with his hair long and loose with a red streak running through it (that's saved for his superhero persona), but the ponytail and slight scruff is unexpected and very much attractive.

"Um hi..." I said awkwardly while he continued to semi-glare at me. Then again if high school was anything to go by, he semi-glared at everyone except for his girlfriend whom I only ever referred to as The Icy One. "I'm your neighbour and the previous tenant left the mailbox key with me so..." I held the key out in front of me while my other hand continued to do its weird curling, flailing motion next to my thigh. I have never hated my nervous system more than I did in that instant.

Nothing has prepared me for this. At no possible time in my life so far did I anticipate that I would have to talk to him or any of my other crushes. But then again, the fact that all my other crushes were fictional characters probably had more to do with it.

Nevertheless, I did not think I'd have to interact with him and even if I did, this was not the kind of interaction I was thinking of.

He reached out to take it and acknowledged it with a polite quirk of the lips.

"I'm Warren."

I'm pretty darn sure that at moment I died from overexposure to sex appeal before being resurrected by it, it's the only logical explanation for the few seconds where my mind and body shut down.

"I'm Angelica. If any mail arrives for Mrs Robinson, could you please give it to me so I can pass it over? I live in 4B right across the hall." I said, surprisingly coherent considering the mush my brain had turned into. I had always known that my ability to pretend indifference to everything would come in useful one day.

"Sure."

Before I could do anything bad (like rape him) I mumbled a 'Thanks' and fled. I'd like to think it's because I have a moral compass and I know better than to put myself in a situation wherein I might sexually assault a person. Or it's because I'm a sexually frustrated wimp.

The latter is definitely more likely.

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Unfortunately I only remember now, hours later, that Mrs Robinson had said that the new tenants were a couple. If FaceBook is anything to go by, he is still in a relationship with 'The Icy One', who has a lot to learn about privacy settings. Of course, now that The Icy One and I are neighbours I should call her by her name and I might as well be the one who gets to teach her about cyber safety.

Excuse me while I mope.

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Of course by the time I had to share a space with him again I learnt that The Icy One was not in fact dating him anymore. In fact she was now residing in London and her relationship status read 'It's complicated'.

I shouldn't really be this happy I know. Not only for the normal reasons like the fact that wishing for what seemed to be a stable, happy relationship between two people who are nearly complete strangers to you to end is quite unhealthy, but for other reasons as well like it doesn't really do much for me. I mean seriously, what are the chances of me being the rebound for Peace? The neon boy who was part of their group would be more likely than I am.

The only thing different is that I'm now lusting for a guy who isn't taken and I feel less guilty about it. When we rode the elevator down to the lobby, all we managed was a polite smile before going our separate ways after all. But of course, the sheer excitement that I felt simply by being in an enclosed space as Warren fricking Peace is unrivalled by most instances of my life. It didn't show on my face in front of him, but by the time I pulled into the school's parking lot a creepy grin had formed on my face and most of my students asked me if I was feeling alright.

I really need to get laid.

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	2. Chapter 2

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It's been a bad day. My student tried to hit on me and when I gave him detention for making lewd remarks I was the one reprimanded because his mom is an important person and she won't like it, I was informed at the last minute by the principal that we're having a bake sale the day after tomorrow and I need to make at least **fifty** items for it because Rebecca's mom has fallen sick and can't make her share, and of course this happens on the one day that my refrigerator got unplugged so everything in it died and now I have to restock everything _and_ buy supplies for baking.

I am going to be broke for at least two weeks.

I wanted to die. So of course I did what I always do when times are rough.

I hugged the door. Sprawled myself all over it like it was a vertical bed. Or a boyfriend (hehe!).

After a bit of feeling comforted I began stroking it like a cat. And just when I was about to nestle into its hard, cold embrace even further, I heard my supermegafoxyawesomehot (AVPM reference!) neighbour speak.

"You're petting your door." He sounded puzzled. I cannot honestly blame him. I had forgotten the weird reactions I had gotten when Mrs Robinson first caught me petting the door. Of course I explained everything to her and she laughed it off saying it was normal compared to the previous tenant who had the tendency to take off his clothes and giggle, all this while eating peanut butter in the hallway. But I can't exactly explain it to Warren Peace, I can barely make small talk with him let alone indulge in an in-depth psychological discussion of why I do what I do! So I just turn around slightly to face him while still attached to the door.

"I know."

"Did you lock yourself out?" He asked, clearly trying to rationalise what he had just seen. Yeah, best of luck with that buddy!

"Not really."

"So why are you hugging your door?"

Because it's my only friend right now.

"It seemed like a good idea."

We stood there for a bit awkwardly before he started playing with his keys, clearly looking for the exit sign.

"Right well I'd best get going."

"Oh wait that reminds me, may I please leave a spare key with you?"

Hopefully I would stay in possession of my keys at all times and never have to knock on Warren's door but that was an unlikely scenario. I will probably have to interact with Mr Peace at some point in the not so distant future to ask for my keys I know. I keep missing Mrs Robinson. She was so used to my weirdness nothing phased her at all. Now around Warren, I have to save face. And he increases the level of my sexual frustration by a million times. Mrs Robinson never did that, if anything she lowered it.

I want to hug doors without being questioned God damn it!

He seemed reluctant to take the keys and I felt the need to clarify things.

"I know I seem a bit crazy but I tend to lose my keys a lot and Mr Littman gets weird about having to keep spares with him. I'm not asking for your keys in return or anything."

I think I scared him with that last statement. Nevertheless he did agree to keep a spare.

I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm off my rocker though.

Monkey crud.

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The day after the very, very embarrassing encounter with Warren, I started my entire day early so as to avoid running into him. This of course meant waking up at five instead of six. Not a fun thing to do, especially considering it didn't work. There was a new victim of the 'Nine to Five serial killer', the newest murderer our city has to offer. You know considering that it's home to a whole lot of superheroes, Maxville sure has a lot of completely cuckoo, villainous civilians, which of course means that Warren Peace, as a crime reporter, rushes out his door the minute a body drops in this fair city of ours.

That of course led to an awfully awkward time in the elevator. We both gave polite half smiles and stared at the indicator as if that was going to make it go any faster and then the minute it 'dinged' and the doors parted he rushed out the door, while I walked incredibly slowly, pretending to be searching for something in my purse. I waited until his car had pulled out before going to my scooter and happily headed the opposite way.

I'm pretty sure he was watching his rear view mirror to make sure that my bright yellow vespa wasn't following him.

And so I went on my merry way to school. And what a glorious day it was, you know the student I detained for hitting on me? Turns out his mom is not angry about it at all. In fact she used this opportunity to rant and rave about how he's just like his deadbeat dad, no respect for women whatsoever and that 'no son of hers would be engaging in lascivious behaviour around an obviously inappropriate person '.

I hope I'm inappropriate because I'm a teacher and not because I'm unseemly or something, although considering the evil eye she gave me it was probably both.

And then my star pupil, Luna managed to stand up to her bullies in a dignified manner before kicking their asses in gym class. And because I woke up so early in the morning, I even had time to pick up a most delicious cream cheese and spinach bagel for my lunch along with a slice of apple pie to finish it off.

It almost makes me want to wake up early more often. But not really.

It was such a good day; I was even chipper about all the baking. So I happily went off to the supermarket and bought what felt like tonnes of baking materials and set off home.

As I was unloading the vespa a voice spoke from behind me again.

"Need some help with that?" Luckily it was not Warren Peace, although I doubt he would actually help me out. That is not to say that he doesn't have manners, but he'd probably do his best to avoid talking to me and run off. No, it turned out to be my dearest Magenta in all her purple glory.

"Sure, can you carry one of the bags please?" I said while wondering what the hell she was doing here. Apparently it showed on my face.

"I find myself dragged to Warren's new apartment by Layla whose inner mom is worrying about how he's settling into his new place and somehow I see you getting off of this **hideous** yellow monstrosity and struggling with a million bags. Mind telling me what's going on?"

"Okay first off, my vespa is not hideous, it is just special, and secondly there's a bake sale at school and so I have to bake!"

"So you live here?"

"Yep, right across from your precious Mr Peace."

"Wait, **you're** the neighbour?" I nod while precariously balancing the bags and pressing the button for the elevator at the same time. Something Magenta should have found easy to do considering she was only carrying one bag and yet she just stood there leaning against the frame with all the grace and laziness of a cat. "So, why does he think you're crazy?"

"He said that?" I said sheepishly. I mean I know that I seemingly went off the deep end last night but that's no reason to complain to your friends, right?

"It was implied." She said sounding tactful, something she is not actually capable of, which of course meant that it _was_ in fact, implied and not explicit.

"He may have found me hugging my door." I said pouting slightly before telling her the entire story.

Luckily Magenta knows nothing of my semi-stalking Warren Peace in high school which is most eeexcellent. If there is anything in the world that you do not want, it is for Magenta to know your deepest, darkest secrets. Of course she already knows a fair lot of mine but this is the deepest and darkest of them all. No one should be aware of it.

Not even me.

*Dun dun dun duuuuuuuuun*

And then she began telling me of one of our mutual frenemies from art camp that had gotten married and how horribly ugly her dress was and by the time she got done with detailing exactly how the bride ended up crying in the women's bathroom while the groom was sleeping under a table, we had reached Warren Peace's door.

His wide open door through which all his other friends peered back at us, while the man of the hour himself sat brooding on his couch staring at the TV with a beer bottle in hand.

"Hello." I said politely and Mr Peace finally turned to see us at the door.

"Did you lose your keys?" There was hope in his voice, hope that I was not in fact there to socialise but instead to pick up the spare key and that thus our interaction would be close to nil.

Well at least that's what I heard.

"I was just helping her with the bags." Magenta answered for me.

"We're having a housewarming party for Warren, would you like to join us?"Layla asked so brightly I almost agreed. But then I noticed Warren's eyes growing fractionally larger. I'm pretty sure if he was standing behind me he would have been waving his arms in the air mouthing the word "Noooo!" at Layla.

"That's okay I've got some work to do." I said, smiling politely before turning to Magenta, who was visibly holding back laughter. "Help me get these to the door would you?"

As we walked away from the disaster zone without any calamity befalling us (me), I sighed in relief. As quickly as I could, I opened the door and put the bags onto the kitchen table before emitting a high pitched sound and sinking to the floor with my face in my hands.

"**That**," Magenta said in between fits of laughter. "Was the single most awkward thing I have ever seen!"

"I know." I said, utterly and absolutely desolate in that moment.

I loathe myself.


	3. Chapter 3

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And yet again, we found ourselves in the same space for what seemed like the nth time.

No seriously, it is ridiculous how many times we manage to run into one another given that I have been trying to avoid him and he has probably been trying for the same. Maybe subconsciously I actually want to run into him? It _is_ the highlight of my day after all.

Or maybe the Scarlet Witch has been messing with probabilities again? I hope not, last time she did that all my clothes turned neon and neons do **not** work well with my skin tone.

Nevertheless there we stood in front of the mailboxes in all their bland beige glory and I clutched my assorted collection of bills, advertisements and joyous colourful postcards that mocked me and my boring life, and as I turned to leave, his voice sounded.

"Um, there's some mail for Mrs Robinson."

"Aw thanks. She'll be glad of this." I said as I clutched the mail from the local dance club. She was incredibly active and sprightly for a seventy five year old. "She says there isn't a dance club where they're living. I'm pretty sure Mrs Robinson's going to petition for one now." I said, trying to say something that sounded normal for once instead of something hyper and creepy.

"Where did she move to?" He said trying to make conversation. It was obvious that Magenta had told *coughblackmailedcough* him to be nice to me. I wonder what she has on him?

"To some county village in England actually. She just got married and they've decided to have a permanent honeymoon so they're taking turns at staying with all their children. One of them is a homicide detective in the village. "

"Isn't she something like eighty years old?"

"Oh yeah, they had a big wedding and a reception too. She's not really Mrs Robinson anymore, it's actually Mrs Nettles now but everyone still calls her Mrs Robinson. It was a fantastic ceremony; they had a red velvet cake with the most amazing cream cheese icing. "

That cake...I have dreams about that cake. So moist and spongy and lovely and the icing was sooooo good.

"Don't tell me you were the bridesmaid."

"Nope, too young so I was the flower girl instead." When the bride and groom are senior citizens, a twenty five year old is really too young to be a bridesmaid.

"Seriously?" He said sounding amused. He'd already gotten his mail and could have left any time but instead he was casually leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, facing me as I fiddled with my mailbox in a desperate attempt to avoiding meeting his eyes. I still can't believe he actually talked to me and I was able to talk back! I'm in a mixture of shock and giddiness just thinking about it.

"She said I did a much better job than the one at her previous wedding who just kept on throwing all the flowers at the boy who was making faces at her." I was actually proud of this. I've never been a bridesmaid or a flower girl or a part of a wedding really. Most of my cousins are male and their wives are too 'sophisticated' to want the ever so frumpy me to be a part of their wedding.

Then again I was about seventeen when the last wedding took place. Too old to be a flower girl and too young to be a bridesmaid. Just a guest.

"So why'd you move here?" I asked him hoping that my voice did not betray my utter and absolute curiosity and instead sounded more casual and natural. Because seriously, what happened between Icy and him that had him staying in that apartment alone when Mrs Robinson had clearly said that a couple was going to be living there?

"I got a bit sick of living with people. My friends tend to be loud and intrusive."

Having watched his friends I can agree. Magenta has similar complaints about them. Plus they seem so colourful I feel like I should make jazz hand whenever I talk to them.

"Probably feels a bit _too_ quiet now though." I don't know how I was managing to have an actual normal conversation with him but somehow I had willed myself to not suddenly blurt out something about the Icy One yet. Because I just know she had something to do with the move, maybe they were getting a place of their own and moving in together before the apparent crisis?

"Yeah. Hey I'm sorry for being so standoffish before. Magenta said you get a bit weird sometimes when meeting new people."

I'm pretty sure Magenta did not say that. In fact when I usually meet new people I just talk even more to put everyone at ease and joke a lot. It was only **him** that I got nervous around. Oh crap, what if she knows something? Did she notice me semi-stalking him in school?!

Also he used the word standoffish. That might be the sexiest thing I've ever heard.

"I thought you might be a bit...eccentric I guess." I could see him looking for a nice word for crazy.

"I know."

"How'd you know?"

"I read minds." I deadpanned. He stopped laughing and looked at me oddly and I realised that he was wondering if he'd seen me in Sky High and if I actually was a telepath. It wouldn't be much of a leap to make after all, Magenta was friends with me and she is a Super, I was prone to moments of craziness which had been often associated with telepathy considering they heard voices in their head. That was not a road I wanted him to go down, so of course I just grinned like an idiot and denied the statement. "Just kidding! No, I could just kind of see it on your face. Plus you saw me cuddling a door. If you didn't think I was a whacko, I'd be judging you pretty harshly right now."

"Yeah well," he moved away from the wall and began the motions to leave. I had scared him away yet again. "I guess I'll see you around. Angelina, right?"

"Angeli_ca _actually."

"Cool. See you around Angeli_ca_."

I love it when he says my name.

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"I had NO idea!" I said as Magenta led me to a bar two streets away from where I lived.

Apparently it was a comfy pub type place and it only took ten minutes to walk it up. I of course had no idea that it even existed until she knocked on my door out of the blue and dragged me away from the papers I was grading.

It's a sad existence that I lead. I'm twenty-five years old and I can tell you where all the emergency services are located, know quite a few of the local paramedics by name, the locations of two different day care centres, three playgrounds and the entire schedule of the community centre by rote and yet I am unaware that there is a bar that I pass by every single day on my way back from school.

I'm practically a Stepford wife. Only without the husband and children which only makes it sadder.

I really need to stop baby-sitting so much.

"But why are we going to a bar anyway?" I asked because I had vowed never to drink after our New York trip which had partly been erased from our minds. By alcohol.

"They have paprika potatoes." She said and it was all I needed to hear. If there is anything in life that will make me do things that I don't really want to, it is paprika potatoes and Warren Peace, and it was to my understanding that the latter was absent.

Of course by then we had entered the fine establishment and I saw Magenta's set of brightly coloured friends sans Warren Peace sitting in a booth, looking expectedly at us.

"I don't want to meet your friends, they're weird and colourful." Whining was the only thing I could do as we made our way to the curved booth and I settled into a fidgety silence not really looking up from my thumbs as Magenta made excuses for being late. It's not like Magenta was ever going to listen to me if I had said that being around her friends makes me uncomfortable.

My only consolation was that Warren wasn't among them.

And of course, just as I have this epiphany, the one and only Mr Peace emerges with a pitcher in hand swerving through the crowd without any of it sloshing over, showing off the busboy skills he acquired at The Paper Lantern.

I really know far too much about him considering that we've only spoken ten sentences to one another.

It's a strange state of mind he puts me in. I don't really want to see him because all I ever do around him is stutter and flail and act like an idiot. But at the same time I do like to see him because I've never really seen myself behave like an idiot around anyone before, no one has ever had that effect on me. So I want to see him because he makes me giddy, but I don't want to see him because I'm giddy around him.

It's a beautiful quandary.

And the quandary was staring me in the face.

"Move over." The quandary said and sat down right next to me and I felt body heat oozing from him and washing over me like a warm hug.

I died.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Edited some things in the earlier chapters, hopefully there's a sense of movement to it now, if not, please feel free to tell me.**

**Previously:**

_It's a strange state of mind he puts me in. I don't really want to see him because all I ever do around him is stutter and flail and act like an idiot. But at the same time I do like to see him because I've never really seen myself behave like an idiot around anyone before, no one has ever had that effect on me. So I want to see him because he makes me giddy, but I don't want to see him because I'm giddy around him._

_It's a beautiful quandary._

_And the quandary was staring me in the face._

"_Move over." The quandary said and sat down right next to me_ _and I felt body heat oozing from him and washing over me like a warm hug._

_I died._

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And just like that I was in a Magenta and Warren sandwich, almost lying down flat on Magenta in an attempt to avoid touching him. If I was losing my ability to speak just by sitting next to him, it was safe to say that the shit would _really_ hit the fan if I came into actual physical contact with him.

"Whaaat? You said move over!" I said when he raised an eyebrow at my avoidance tactics.

"So Angelica, how do you know Madge?" Layla asked with a faintly amused look on her face. She reminds me of mum when she does that.

"We were both counsellors at this weird Art Summer Camp thing."Which earned Magenta a whole lot of incredulous laughs (because seriously, Magenta babysitting a bunch of drooling kids for art camp?) and she in turn gave me a pointed look.

Because Magenta and I actually became friends when Mr Boy told her to consult with me for her junior year Sidekick Project. She was doing a project on the differences between sidekicks that worked for villains and the ones that worked for heroes and I had already done a similar project the previous year and Mr Boy didn't want have to grade the same project twice. Unfortunately saying that would blow my cover as an unsuspecting normal friend of Magenta's who did not stalk Peace. Or attend Sky High but really it was mainly the stalking thing I didn't want them to realise.

"Only because the cabin leader for the Strings House was gorgeous." Magenta grumbled, trying to defend herself while Zach pouted.

"So what excuse do you have?" Will asked, getting in on the conversation.

"Huh?"

"Well you're a teacher aren't you? You deal with children every day. That's even worse than being a camp counsellor." This was a really good guess for a seemingly oblivious boy.

"Is it that obvious?" Because seriously, do I walk around with a sign over my head that reads 'High School Teacher'?

"You do wear blazers a lot." Magenta piped in, glad of the change of subject. Besides that, she'll never waste a chance to insult my precious blazers.

"Wench, my blazers are amazing, you're just jealous."I said indignantly, which got such laughter from the entire table that I felt bad on behalf of my blazers.

"So you are a teacher then?" Layla asked, once she was done wiping tears from her eyes. Yes they laughed that much.

I feel like I should hug my blazers, they really don't deserve such abuse.

"I teach, and I use the term 'teach' pretty loosely, High School kids."

"What subject?"

"Well the school's hierarchy of authority is undergoing some...changes, so I fill in for whatever classes are free besides being the homeroom teacher for the freshmen and tutoring some of the senior students. And it's an alternative school to begin with, so there's no such thing as a fixed curriculum there."

A simpler way to explain it would be, 'I teach at Sky High because Mr Boy is rebelling against the Sidekick-Hero dichotomy and Coach Boomer knocked up Professor Elast and they're on maternity/paternity leave.', but of course I was still trying to hide the fact that I had superpowers (dun dun dun duuuuun) from these kids.

"I didn't know there was an alternative school in Maxville." Will said before wilting when he received a glare from Layla and Ethan. They were probably worried something about Sky High was going to slip out. "But what do I know!" He trailed off with a forced laugh and an awkward atmosphere descended upon the table again.

"So what is it about me that screams 'teacher'?" I said, trying to diffuse the tension. "It can't be just the blazers. Is it the spectacles?"

"I think you just have this aura of 'teacher'." Will said, waving his hands around in my general direction as if to say 'all this'. "All neat and tidy."

"You have chalk dust on your sleeves and the red ink stains on your hand. Only teachers use red ink pens." Warren Peace said. I'm pretty sure part of me jumped at the thought of him observing my fingers. I know _I've_ observed his fingers many times. Although I suppose, ogled his fingers is more accurate, had day dreams about them on my skin would be even more accurate. My mind is a gutter.

"And what are you supposed to be, a detective?" I said in a squeaky voice, never meeting his eyes but watching his hands instead. He has such nice wrists, and that corded band he always wears adds to them.

"Warren's a crime reporter actually. I'm surprised you don't know, his features on the 'Nine to Five killer' made it to the front page of the crime section of the Maxville Chronicle."

"I don't read newspapers, they depress me." Which is completely true, I only know of current events if I wake up early in the morning and there's nothing on the telly to watch. Well that and opinionated status updates on FaceBook about serial killers, politics etc.

And that is exactly the answer that I give Layla when she asks me how I stay in touch with what's going on in the world, which she shakes her head at.

"So this new murderer, are there any leads on him?" Layla asked Warren.

"So far the police haven't been able to figure out if it is a 'he' to begin with. Usually the way they're killed makes it relatively obvious but in this case it's not so clear. They're thinking of bringing in a special unit for this one."

"Why is he called the 'Nine to Five killer' anyway?" Zach said, finally contributing something to the conversation beyond 'Sweeet'.

"The victims are all white collar workers, and there seems to be no indication that they had an actual life beyond their workplaces, apart from which all the victims were killed between the times of five thirty and six as they were making their way into their homes. The last victim was found dead with his keys in hand."

So. Freaking. Hot.

Not the fact that a man was killed clutching his keys of course, but that entire sentence said in monotone was just fantastic.

"What's the name of the keys guy?" Ethan asked.

"Dexter Ballard."

"Hold up, his name was Dexter and he got whacked by a serial killer?!" Zach said cutting into Layla's inquiries. "Man, that's ironic."

And just like that for the first time in my life I had a sensation of déjà vu. The name Dexter Ballard rings bells. Unfortunately I don't know what bells it's ringing. Then again I may just watch way too much TV.

"Why are you singing the theme song to Dexter's Laboratory?" Magenta asked me out of the blue. Unbeknownst to myself I had been humming it under my breath since the name Dexter was first mentioned.

"I miss late 90's Cartoon Network, they had the best shows ever. Even Johnny Bravo is better than the swill they show now."

"Except for Phineas and Ferb." Magenta interrupted and Layla and Zach nodded their heads in agreement while Will and Ethan looked at us like we were crazy. I have no idea what Warren thought because I was doing my utter best to keep from looking anywhere in his direction.

"Of course. But do you know, sometimes, Phineas and Ferb seems more sixties, what with the Beatles leaping out of nowhere to sing theme songs."

"Eighties too because of the recurring Lindana arc." Layla said, clearly a fellow Phineas and Ferb enthusiast.

Will of course shook his head at the four of us, "Unbelievable, we start talking about serial killers and it ends up at Cartoon Network."

"Dexter's Laboratory is iconic." The great Warren Peace spoke.

The man is hot and just admitted that Dexter's Laboratory is iconic without being prompted, I can honestly say I have never been more turned on than in that moment. It was so cool, that in that moment I didn't even care that it meant actual physical contact, I just turned to face him and held my hand out for a high-five with an idiotic grin, and I got one.

My hand still tingles.

But after a while Will decided he had enough of Cartoon Network and stood up.

"I'd better head off, got an open house tomorrow. That two-story colonial Georgian house isn't going to sell itself."

And just like that the night ended and everyone began getting up and ready to leave. I realised I had not really had my paprika potatoes and sensing my disappointment Magenta said, "Next time we'll get them."

Which meant there would be a next time. Surprisingly it didn't scare me that much. Her friends are still ridiculously colourful but they were alright. Warren Peace, on the other hand, is an unknown variable.

An unknown variable that liked Dexter's Laboratory. I cannot begin to put into words how hot that is.

"Oi, you coming?" He said and I snapped out of my thoughts only to notice that he was waiting for me. We were the only ones left and I realised we'd be walking home together. We do live next door after all.

A brisk pace was soon attained as I found out that Warren Peace didn't walk too fast but in steady, long strides. If it wasn't for the fact that I only ever speed walk everywhere, I would have been unable to keep up with him considering my relatively short stature. We were only two blocks away from the building when he spoke up.

"I see you avoided answering any of Layla's questions."

"What do you mean?"

After all, it wasn't _that_ obvious that I hadn't actually divulged anything actual about my life. I had gone into great detail while still avoiding naming names, that's all. My lying skills are excellent and I have complete faith in them.

"Well you didn't say that you met Magenta in Sky High, which you did. You lied by omission."

"Not strictly speaking, because she asked me how I _knew_ Magenta not how I _met_ her." Still reeling from the thought that he might know that I semi-stalked him I asked, "How did you figure it out anyway? Because I'm pretty sure you don't actually remember me.", inwardly praying that it was true.

"I was unpacking and found the yearbook. Flipped through it and saw your photo in it. You have the same glasses." He clarified when I made a funny face.

Because there was no recognising me from that photo, although I suppose that's true for most people's high school yearbook photos. But really, between the shaggy bangs that almost covered my eyes and the deathly pallor I sported on that day, my photo made me look like a zombie that had freshly risen from the grave.

"Alright but don't tell the others. I want to see how long it'll take for them to figure it out."

"You'll be waiting a very long time then."

"Meh, if it takes more than a month then Madge and I'll probably prank them or something." I said with a shrug, happy that my worst fears had been overcome. He never noticed me stalking me, huzzah! "You know, you can join in if you want."

"I'll hold you to that." He said a little wrinkle appearing on his smooth skin that I just wanted to reach out and smooth out. "So you've been in Sky High from freshman year, right?" I nodded in agreement ,"I never saw you in Power Placement."

"I missed the first day of school because I was sick. After that it just turned into a game, trying to see if people would notice me if my powers were never exhibited. I was never picked for Save the Citizen because the teachers knew my powers were unstable and so I never really registered in anyone's mind I guess." I shrugged, uncaring.

When I was a student at Sky High I didn't really care much for it, it was just a school, not a social hangout and certainly not fun and games like it was for the other kids. I always did get along better with the teachers than the students and now I'm one of them. It's almost funny how much more I love Sky High as a teacher then I did as a student.

"I see." He said cryptically before reaching to open the door. Somehow, without my realising it we had walked home and I had not behaved like a headless chicken. I astonish myself sometimes. "See you around Jelly." He said as he closed the door.

The great Warren Peace had bestowed a nickname upon me. I shall treasure this moment FOREVER.


	5. Chapter 5

**Replying to reviews this time because a lot of the story is confusing, so:**

**MissBow: The 'previously' part was only there because there was a continuity issue and I was going to make it smaller but then it would start by referring to quandaries and that would only make it weirder. Also I know she's really hormonal and immature right now but that's part of why she wouldn't be a good Elementary School teacher, she'd corrupt them all. It's just that excitement of something new right now, it'll calm down soon. The Cartoon Network thing was mainly a segue really.**

**MasRnR: According to Wikipedia there was a scene with a Professor Elast who had a crush on Boomer but it got cut so I can't really take credit for that. She's called Jelly because it's part of her name An**_**geli**_**ca, see. And for the most part she's weird and unnoticed out of her own choice, it's not like she's been alienated by people on purpose.**

**Also as a general note her powers, for now at least, are irrelevant.**

**So, moving on...**

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"Hey Reggie." I answered the door brightly to see takeout, brought to me courtesy Reginald Garvin one of my senior student tutees, who doubled as a delivery boy for Paper Lantern.

"Heya Teach, that'll be thirty bucks." He said grinning like an idiot as he looked me up and down (not in pervy way though). Maybe because he was seeing one of his teachers in cotton pyjamas that had aliens printed on them. Maybe because I had my hair in pigtails so they wouldn't go crazy and tangled. Maybe it was because I ordered enough food for two people although I was clearly eating alone. For whatever reason it was, Reggie was grinning widely at me as I handed him the money and a generous (if I say so myself) tip.

I like Reggie. Unlike the other students he doesn't really need tutoring, he just wants better grades. In fact he's the only student who voluntarily asked me to tutor him.

"I was wondering if you could take a look at my Mad Science Paper actually."

"Sure what's it about?"

"Whether technology makes super powers obsolete, I thought I could use the same topic for the Modern SuperHeroics Class only with less detail about the gadgets and more of the philosophy behind it." He said as he took a giant sheaf of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me. Reggie manipulates space and dimensions, so really I should have busted him for using his powers outside the school environment but to be honest I wasn't sure if it was his power or not because those pants were really baggy. Fashions just get weirder and weirder over time.

We sat down on the little step in the hallway (there is no way I'm letting a student into my house just the two of us, that's a lawsuit just waiting to happen) and I began to speed read. Shortly after I got done with the fifth page Warren stepped out of the elevator, looking dead on his feet only to stop in front of us with a strange expression on his face.

"Hey man!" Reggie said, getting up to fist bump my neighbour.

'Once a Paper Lantern employee always a Paper Lantern employee' as he would tell me later.

"What're you doing here brat?" Warren asked good naturedly while he gave me a nod of acknowledgement. Because that's how we roll now.

After the night at the bar and the discovery of my past (dun dun dun duuuun) things had settled down quite a bit. I wasn't as jumpy around him and he didn't think I was crazy anymore.

Even the many coincidental meetings we used to have (see also: door hugging incident, housewarming party etc) had tapered off to nothing. Everyday we'd leave our houses in the morning at the same time, I'd ask if there were any criminals I needed to watch out for, he'd answer, we'd discuss the weather and then go our separate ways.

Don't get me wrong though, he still gives me butterflies, especially now that the polite half smiles have turned into the much more natural smirks, but it wasn't the 'Oh my God I'm giving an exam and I haven't studied at all, I'm so screwed!' kind of anxiety but more of the 'It's my birthday tomorrow!' kind of buzz. Consequently I sounded less like a performing monkey and more like an actual human being.

"I'm working, what's your excuse?" Reggie said, proudly gesturing towards the Paper Lantern logo on his shirt and shaking me out of my thoughts ,I went back to speed reading the papers in my hand, trying to identify the squiggles that made up his handwriting. I think the people who had to decipher hieroglyphs had an easier job.

"I live here."

"You mean...you and Teach...?" My dearest student seemed to imply that Peace and I were living together.

"He lives next door." I said gesturing towards the door of apartment 4A all the while keeping my eyes trained on page five, not wanting to see warren's presumably incredulous expression.

"What about Mrs Robinson?"

"She died." Warren said and I finally looked up aghast while Reggie mirrored my expression.

"Really?"

"NO!" I damn near shouted as Peace snickered. "Peace is just having a go at you. Mrs Robinson just moved that's all."

Reggie looked at me suspiciously.

"You're not trying to protect my feelings or anything are you? I've seen the way you baby your freshman kids."

When I shot him a look that clearly said 'Are you fricking kidding me?' he sighed in relief. I went back to reading the report and Reggie struck up conversation with Peace once again.

"So you're a reporter now right?"

"Yeah."

"Cool, anything I' might have read?"

"I wrote about the Nine to Five killer in the Maxville Chronicle."

"Oh yeah, that guy with the keys whose brain got ploughed." He said unflinching, ignoring my wince. Because seriously who talks about a dead person like that.

"Dexter Ballard." Warren said informatively.

"His name sounds really familiar." Reggie said as he mused over the name softly.

This reminded me of the fact that the name really did sound familiar to me too. But the man was just so utterly nondescript and inconspicuous (based on the photo the News station were running) that I couldn't really remember it well.

And it was that thought that set the gears in my head moving. Because Dexter Ballard had come to Sky High as a guest lecturer and addressed the assembly on the importance of maintaining your cover identities at all times in public and being low-key. He worked for the freaking DSSI (Department of Superhero's Secret Identities) and I had somehow completely blanked it out of my mind.

"I am SUCH an idiot! Dexter worked for the DSSI!"

"What are you talking about? He was one of the analysts in the Wayne Enterprise's Statistical Department. I checked with the company."

"Yes but the DSSI uses Wayne Enterprises as a cover. He had come to Sky High and given this lecture on cover identities and choosing the right civilian job for you. I can't believe I forgot all about it."

"Oh yeah, the mousy guy. Man, no one was listening to that guy. Even the freshmen were sleeping and everyone knows those brats pay attention to everything." Reggie's words seemed to put Warren on edge; he had suddenly gone very, very tense. "What about the other guys, do they have any connection to Supers too?" Reggie said, really getting into it.

"I have to make some calls." Peace said and made a move towards his door.

"Yeah me too."I said distractedly and he whirled around as if shocked.

"Do not get yourself involved in this case, Mercado." Before I could ask how he knew my last name he continued gravely. "You are not an active field hero and there is no way I am allowing you to get involved in a murder investigation under my watch."

Which I take instant offense to; I mean who does he think he is, my Dad? No one gets to tell me what to do, not even Warren Peace. Even though that little vein throbbing in his forehead is particularly charming, I refuse to let it distract me from my agenda, no man gets to decide what I can or cannot do damn it

"Under your watch? You wouldn't even have known that Supers were involved in any way were it not for me! And FYI, for all we know the fact that he does work for the DSSI might be irrelevant. You're not the boss of me!"

"You are not getting involved in this and that's final."

"Peace, I have better contacts than you do, I know a great deal of the higher ups in Wayne Enterprises who know about the DSSI and since I am not an 'active field hero' I have more free time than you do. You have no power over me or what I do and I am getting myself involved in this whether you like it or not."

Admittedly I had never had any actual intention of investigating the murders and all I really wanted was make sure that I was right in thinking that he worked for the DSSI, but Warren had riled me up to the point where I felt an overwhelming need to go against everything he said just to spite him.

I hate it when people talk to me like that, even when my parents tried to stop me from doing something I would go out of my way to do it just to prove that I could, which is why Dad always calls me Short Fuse. Admittedly I've had some of the best times of my life while defying people but still, I really, really don't want to get involved in a murder investigation.

So why am I so excited? Maybe because my life is boring and I spend most of my weekend grading papers and thinking up lesson plans? Actually apart form that night out at the bar I haven't really interacted with adults who aren't teachers at school in a long time. Eh the first month of school is the hardest.

"Dude I wouldn't get her angry if I were you."Reggie said with something akin to awe in his voice. "She made this student clean the sides of the school as a punishment, he had to strap on a harness and clean the surrounding embankment with a dishrag. He wouldn't stop shaking for days."

Ah yes, Alexander Ramirez who thought he could get away with dunking Harold and then proceeding to make Luna cry by making fun of her in front of the whole school. Although I guess she did get her revenge by defeating him and his girlfriend in Save the Citizen.

But still, _no one_ messes with my kids.

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I am a really bad, partial teacher. And now I'm investigating a murder. Joy.

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	6. Chapter 6

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"What're you doing here?" Because of course after nearly a week of exchanging terse words, glares and avoiding each other steadfastly, we wound up running into each other in the middle of Maxville's suburbia outside the childhood home of a certain Dexter Ballard at eleven in the Saturday morn.

I don't know why, but Warren really seemed utterly and absolutely adamant on me staying out of this investigation. Okay I understand that it might be dangerous and I don't really have the degree in Criminal Justice that he does, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm an adult and have full permission to use my very vast resources to their fullest.

"I'm here to talk to Mr Ballard's mother, what are you doing here."

"Same thing, how did you get the info?"

"Are you kidding, I got his file within hours of asking, I know Lucius Fox."

"Lucius Fox? As in Wayne enterprises CEO, Lucius Fox?" The utter and absolute disbelief on his face would have amused me were it not for the fact that we were standing outside the door of a woman who had lost her son to a brutal murder and we were about to grill her about it.

"Yeah, he worked with my Dad on a research project a few years ago; I've known him since I was five years old."

"You really have to stop, it's not safe for you to be here, you're just a-"

"A school teacher who deals with volatile adolescents that have superpowers on a regular basis? Someone who has actually _met_ Dexter Ballard?"

"You didn't even remember him until a few days ago."

"But I did remember him it just took me a while to _recall_ him, there's a difference." I grumbled before taking a deep breath and shaking my head to clear it. "Look I'm doing this whether you like it or not. So your only choice is going in there with me or waiting until I'm done talking to her since I got here first."

"...Fine." He said reluctantly grumbling something about first come first serve being bullshit under his breath.

"Fine."

We stood there glaring at each other for a while before either of us actually moved to the front porch and rang the doorbell.

The door opened and we found ourselves staring at an old lady who was peering at us suspiciously through half-moon spectacles rather reminiscent of Dumbledore.

"Mrs Ballard?" I ask tentatively.

"Yes."

"I'm Warren Peace and this is my associate, Angelica, I spoke to you earlier on the phone?" Warren took the reins.

"Oh yes the Maxville Chronicle guy."

"We were hoping you would talk to us about your son's incident?"

"Of course." She said reluctantly and let us in. It was a nice place filled with dainty artefacts and she gestured for us to sit on the chintzy rose patterned sofa.

"Would either of you like some tea?"

"Yes please." I said at the same time that Warren said 'No thank you' and we turned to give each other a look.

"I've only got some Darjeeling so if you're expecting some of that green tea stuff-"

"Oh no, I'm partial to Darjeeling myself." I said with the megawatt smile that I save for parents.

It earned me an approving smile from Dexter Ballard's mother and a narrowing of eyes from Peace.

"What the hell are you trying to do?" He hissed through gritted teeth as Mrs Ballard hummed back in the kitchen.

"Trying to put her at ease. Besides I really do love a good black tea, it's just that I usually have Assam or Ceylon rather than Darjeeling."

Before he could say anything else Mrs Ballard returned with a tray in hand.

"So you're here to ask about my son's murder, yes?"

"Yes, would you have any idea why someone would kill Dexter?" Warren plunges straight to the point.

"Dexter was always a darling boy, but fairly consumed by his job, he took it quite seriously. If you're asking whether someone with a personal agenda could have done this I'd have to say no."

"Now he worked for the Wayne enterprises, didn't he?" Warren asked as I sipped delicately at the tea observing Mrs Ballard's reactions. Her mouth twitched and when she finally did speak her voice was just that little bit higher.

"Oh yes, Wayne enterprises."

"Mrs Ballard, do you know anything about an organisation called DSSI?" I said suddenly and Warren shot me a look of alarm even as she visibly relaxed.

"Off the record?" She said to Warren who nodded visibly relieved. Somehow it was obvious to her that he was the reporter and I was just the tag-along.

"Well, hypothetically speaking, the DSSI might be undergoing some problems as of late. The chain of command has been disintegrating but while the higher-ups have been playing their political games, the regular guys are still working hard."

"Well hypothetically speaking, in such a politically charged environment, would your son be facing any problems at work?" Warren took over and I watched.

"No he was really quite diligent, as were all his colleagues. In all honesty there have been times when they've been accused of verging on the point of fanaticism but really they're just preaching caution and it's their job to do so."

"Prevention is better than cure." I chime in and earn yet another approving look. Seriously, I am so good with parents, it's not even fair.

"That's exactly what Dexter would say. They did give the younger ones a bit more leeway on account of being, well hormonal and still in that stage where you're learning to control your powers. Unfortunately it's the adults who mostly troubled them. Even though most civilians are clueless, the super heroes still manage to blow their cover and then it's the DSSI to the rescue, clearing up the mess, dealing with the memory wiping and reimbursing the citizens for any damages incurred."

"So no problems at work?"

"Not with his co-workers, but he did get worked up about finding a Wayne enterprises employee snooping outside the headquarters. They're in the same building you see, as a part of maintaining the cover."

"Right well, thank you for helping us out Mrs Ballard. I think we've gotten what we need, you've been really helpful." Warren said as he stood up from his seat and I followed suit.

Soon we were out the door and in our hands we both clutched a little box of cookies that Mrs Ballard had given us.

"Okay what was that all about?"

"What was what all about?"

"The whole part earlier, where you kept on schmoozing up to her, and trying to make her feel comfortable. We were interviewing her for her son's murder, for all we know she's a suspect, you can't just go around telling her pertinent details like that."

"Look I don't know why but I just get along better with older people, it's just natural, I wasn't sucking up to her or anything, it's not my fault I put people at ease while they clam up around you so don't blame me for making your social skills look bad."

"Says the girl who hugs doors." He deadpanned.

"Okay will you let that go already?! One time I got high on morphine after surgery and I hugged a door, it grew into a habit whenever I was intoxicated and now I just hug doors when I'm sad, that does not mean you get to judge me on that! You set people on fire in high school! Literally!"

"You guys sound like my parents." A kid from the suburbia we were standing arguing in was looking up at us with bug wide eyes on a tricycle. He licked the ice cream cone in his hands and pedalled away when Warren frightened him with a growl. Normally I would yell at a person for making a child feel the need to run away but at that point in time I was pretty weirded out. Parents? We sounded like parents?

The hell kind of parents did that kid have?

Plus why do we sound like parents? I'm single and so is he, how can we sound like parents?

"Never mention this again." He said through gritted teeth apparently feeling the same incredulousness that I was.

"Mention what?" I said and we shared a look that meant all was understood.

"So what's the next step?" I said as we walked away from the house at a sedate pace. "And don't tell me something patronising like 'Oh there's no next step for you, you're going to butt out and let the professionals handle it' because that's just going to make me want to continue even worse."

"Are you always this annoying?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"Hm," He stared me down and I stared right back. He has very black eyes. "Next we find out if this man snooping around DSSI headquarters has a name."

"So I ask Mr Fox to give me an all access badge? Or you do your reporter-y thing and ask your contacts?"

"We'll see, if my contact fails to come through we'll go to your precious Mr Fox." He said begrudgingly accepting that my resources were better than his.

"He _is_ pretty precious."

"I cannot believe you called one of the smartest minds of our time 'precious' " He said with a smirk and I knew all was forgiven.

"He really is, you should see him around babies, he is excellent at making weird cooing noises and funny faces."

"Where's your scooter?" He said stopping in front of his car.

"Oh I didn't know how to get here exactly so I took a cab. I asked and the cabbie said that two streets away there's a stop and you can take a bus from there."

"I'll drop you off."

"Don't you have to go to your work...place...thingy?"

"Yes I have to go to my work...place...thingy," He imitates me and I crinkle my nose at him. "But it's on the way so..."

"It's not out of some misguided thought that I can't take care of myself is it?" I say through narrowed eyes. Although I guess I can't really say things through narrowed eyes. It's more like 'say it as my eyes narrow'. Good God, teaching those freshmen 'English for Hero Support' has really done a number on my grammar. I cannot _wait_ to move on from Catchphrases.

"I'm sure you can take care of yourself." He said patronisingly and even though I knew he was indulging me, I was too lazy to walk it up to the bus stop anyway so I shrugged and accepted the offer for a ride home and open the passenger seat door only to find a gaping space where the seat should have been.

"What kind of giants usually ride shotgun with you?" The seat was pushed so far back I could actually extend my legs ahead of me nearly completely. And I'm not that short. Well okay I barely touch 5'5" but still, that is average not short!

"Zack actually, now wear your seatbelt." Even my mum isn't that pushy about seatbelts. Although that's not a fair comparison since I'm usually the one who has to remind her to wear her seatbelt.

"Just a second." I chirped, pulling the seat as far in front as possible and strapped myself in turning to see Warren looking at me in what can only be described as utter amusement. "I am not short!" I say indignantly, knowing exactly what he was going to say.

"You're just vertically challenged." He pulled out of parking and I had to stop myself from openly ogling his arms when he turned the wheel. Lean yet hard muscle tensing just that little bit due to the firm grip he maintained on the steering wheel, good God what I would do to have those hands on me.

"As long as I'm not challenged in the horizontal." I muttered distractedly, naughty thoughts taking the form of naughty words and I baulk at the words coming out of my mouth and prayed that he hadn't heard me.

Then again I never have the best luck around him, do I?

"Good to know." He visibly smothered a smile and I cringed, hiding my growing blush behind splayed fingers, collapsing into the seat with a shriek.

Which is when my phone quacked (no really it quacked, Donald Duck is my weekend ringtone) and even though it was an unknown number I picked it up anyway, just to escape the embarrassment.

"Hey, we're having a girl's night in at your place. Layla's coming too; by the way she found out that you went to Sky High. I'll bring the tequila, you get the ice ready." Magenta's voice filtered over the phone.

"Wait what?! Why? And why at my place? Don't you guys have boyfriends that you should be spending Saturday nights with?" I said, trying desperately to keep up with the amount of information being thrown at me.

"Your place because your house is the biggest, you don't have any annoying roommates and you make the best margaritas, I'm angry at Zack and Will is off doing 'The Stronghold Three' promos and Layla's had a bad day at work."

"Okay I guess." I said, begrudgingly switching my plans of reading Harry Potter for the millionth time in exchange for getting completely and utterly drunk with Magenta and Layla the latter being Warren Peace's first ever friend at Sky High, one who, if sources are to be believed, has a supernatural gift for reading people and for all I know might see right through me as I try to conceal the fact that I want him.

This is going to be catastrophic.

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	7. Chapter 7

"Why are we helping you pick a dress again?" Magenta drawled out from my bed where she was sprawled out, swinging her feet in the air while Layla flipped through my copy of the yearbook. One hour into the girl's night in and Madge was already complaining.

"Wow this looks nothing like you." Layla said, analysing the yearbook photo of me."You are so pale here!"

"I was really sick that day, right before they took the photo I was throwing up in the girl's room because of a reaction to the meds." I said distractedly, hunting through my closet for any and all semi-formal dresses I could find. "And I need a dress to chaperone Homecoming in that does not make me look like a student or make me look like I'm going out to the bar to flirt."

Ah Homecoming, that one staple of school that I had managed to avoid till now. It's kind of sad really that the first Homecoming dance I'll ever attend will be as a chaperone really. I had joined Sky High as a teacher in November last year and didn't have to attend it last year. There was Prom but considering that only seniors and their dates could attend it was a small enough crowd to handle easily.

Homecoming on the other hand meant that nearly two hundred students would be gathering in the gym to party it up like crazy people. Ever since Royal Pain there had been a series of Super Villains trying to take over the school on the eve of Homecoming which put a damper on the proceedings, but when you think about it, it makes perfect sense it was the one time of year when nearly every student in Sky High was gathered in one place, they were sitting ducks so to speak. Of course they were also all trained (relatively) to handle Super Villains so their plans never really worked out. Still, I'm sure one day a really smart super villain is going to try to take over Sky High and succeed.

"Oh look, there's Warren!" Layla had apparently found the picture of Peace in the yearbook, the one where his head is angled just so that his red streak fell over his face while the hair was tucked behind his ear on the other side. His lips were pursed just a little bit so it almost looked like he was smiling were it not for the eyebrow that was raised in utter disdain.

Not that I spend a lot of time looking at that because it's the only photo of him that I am in possession of. No really, I don't.

From my place in the closet I cleared my throat taking this opportunity to segue into the question I had been dying to ask. "So what's the deal with Peace? Mrs Robinson said a couple was moving in next door and I have yet to find the presence of someone of the female persuasion next door."

Layla's voice piped up. "Ooh that's a really interesting story! What happened was-"

"I'll tell it." The redhead levelled a glare at Magenta who had interrupted and begun narrating having decided she was the better person to tell the tale. "Warren was thinking of moving out of the apartment he shared with Will when Freeze girl suggested they move in together and he said why not. They went apartment hunting , found that place next door and decided it was the perfect love nest yadda yadda yadda, they signed the lease and one week before they were supposed to move in she got a call that she'd been accepted in some prestigious music program in England somewhere. She wanted him to come with her, he didn't want to give up his job and move and they had this big fight and broke up. Now he lives next door all alone."

Layla nodded as if to confirm the story,"He took it much better than expected though. They _had_ been together for what six years or so and then suddenly they broke up."

He certainly hadn't seemed broken hearted when he moved in. Then again what do I know of the ways in which men mope? Every man I know is in a successful long term relationship or married while I am all alone and don't even have the option of being a cat lady in the future because I'm allergic to cat hair. Maybe once Professor Medulla has found the cure to allergies...

"They were on and off for such a long time though, mostly on but still. Who knows, maybe he knew it was coming." Madge shrugged.

"We talked on FaceBook yesterday, she thinks they'll get back together once she comes back which is ridiculous, she's going to be gone for at least two years, it's not like he's going to stay single _that_ long."

"He's _way_ too hot for that." I thought to myself, only to realise that I had said that out loud instead. Apparently that thought had not crossed Layla and Madge's heads because when I turned away from the closet I found them staring at me. "Oh come on, you can't tell me your not aware that he's a pretty boy!" I said as flippantly as possible before turning away from them hoping to hide the blush that was sure to be spreading over my face. I really need to stop thinking out loud.

"Pretty boy?!" Layla spluttered and with a sigh I turned to face them again, only to find Madge staring at me with a strange gleam in her eyes, the one that usually meant I should run far, far away.

"Yes, pretty boy. He's got classically pretty features and a fantastic bone structure. Pair that with the general aura of bad boy gone good and most girls would consider him a catch. Ooh, how about this one?" I held up a red gown for scrutiny hoping it would distract them.

"No way, it's too formal. What about you, would you consider him a catch? He is your type if Liam was anything to go by." She said in a meaningful tone, making blatant reference to the ex who had no place in this conversation.

It's a silly thing to say, Liam is (or was, I mean he might have changed since we last talked) nothing like Warren. Well okay he did possess long rakish black hair and he was a pretty boy too and he was quiet and hot as hell but still he was nothing like Warren. I shook myself out of the haze only to find them expecting an answer which was a dilemma, I can't exactly say no after all I've done to extol his attractiveness but saying yes would result in high pitched squealing and teasing. There was only one way out of this then.

"I'd tap that." I said with a flippant shrug that earned an outraged gasp followed by giggles from Layla while Madge looked like the cat that got the cream. "What about this dress?"

"Nope, too short, but can I borrow it?" Layla asked of the green dress I was holding up. It would definitely suit her auburn hair better than it did me.

"Yeah sure, keep it if you want. You know at this rate there's nothing in my closet that I can wear to Homecoming, everything's either too long or short or too low cut." With a whoosh I sank on the bed next to Madge.

"Wear the black ballerina skirt with that white blouse with the black lace overlay and then a red belt to tie it all together." Magenta said with a shrug.

"No wonder you're a designer, that's perfect!"

"Great can we get back to the booze now? I came here to get drunk, not to talk."

"Instead you're going to get drunk and talk." Layla said cheerfully.

"Haha, very funny it's not like you would know anyway, you've never gotten drunk or even had tequila." Magenta glared.

"Yeah I think it's safe to say that if you've never gotten drunk, you've never had tequila." I deadpanned. "So Layla, you're a tequila virgin huh. There's a song in there somewhere. Ooh how about Madonna's like a virgin?"

"So what'll that be? _Tequila virgin, drunk for the very first time_?" Magenta began singing it.

"_Tequila vi-i-i-irgin, when your liver's burning alive_!"

"_I made it through the drunkenness yes I made it through, all I had is one shot or maybe two_!"Layla continued before bursting into giggles.

"Niice!" I said holding my hand up for a high five. For a first timer that was great improv from her.

"Yeah but just so you know, you'll definitely have more than just two shots."

Which is when we broke out the alcohol and then everything went blank.

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"What year is it?" I said gruffly through the tangled brown curtain that was my hair,half of my body on the couch and the other half sprawled over the floor, waking up to the feel of a very warm hand gently shaking me awake, on the sunny Sunday morn that followed our adventures into the magical Land of Alcohol.

"2012." Warren's throaty voice rang through my house. Which is when I realised that he was in my apartment and I sat upright ignoring the pounding in my head that accompanied the feeling of light blinding my open eyes.

"Where's Layla?" Stronghold appeared next to Warren (in my freaking apartment god damn it! I hate it when people I don't know well come inside my house) looking worried.

"Last I saw she was worshipping the porcelain god." My voice came out horribly hoarse and I cringed, drawing my feet up onto the couch and buried my face in my knees, willing the pounding in my head to go away.

"What?"

"Check the bathroom."Warren said helpfully before next to me as Will ran off in the direction I pointed.

"How the hell did you guys get in?" I noticed Zack trying to get a very grumpy Magenta to wake up from her perch in the balcony's deck chair(when did she get _there_?). When they had appeared out of nowhere I had assumed Madge was the one to open the door and let them in since I didn't remember doing it and Layla was quite frankly, trashed, instead there Magenta lay swatting the neon boys hands away as she burrowed further into the comforts of the chair.

We had gotten seriously plastered last night. I don't even remember most of it. It'll come to me soon though, I have no doubt.

"I had to use the spare key to let ourselves in; it was either that or Will would have broken down the door. I don't know how they knew the girls were here though."

"Drunk dialling. They tried to get me to call my ex but I gave them a lecture on international calls and the costs of it and they told me to down a shot and shut up." I said finally remembering a little titbit from last night. Good God I'm glad I didn't make that call, I do _not_ want to call Liam considering the way we parted. Soon Will and Zack joined us at the couch, herding their very hung-over girlfriends over to the squishiness that is my cream and purple embroidered sofa set. I never realised how dated it looked until all the colours that the 'Homecoming Gang', as they were called, sat down on it.

"I need caffeine; does anyone want tea or coffee?" I asked helpfully. Magenta shuddered at the thought of putting something into her stomach, Layla mumbled the word tea before curling up into herself even more and their respective boyfriends nodded in affirmative for coffee. "You want something?" I asked Warren, as a conscientious neighbour, instead of calling him out on the fact that he could just go across the hallway and have caffeine at his own place instead off mooching off of me. But he just politely refused and so I went over to the kitchen instead, thankful that I don't get hangovers.

"I am never drinking so much again." Magenta's voice wafted over as I set the kettle for boiling onto the stove.

"That's what you said last time, and yet, somehow we manage to outdo ourselves every single time." I said from the kitchen.

"How many times have you guys done this?" Zack said. Apparently Magenta doesn't drink and tell.

Wait, does that make me her dirty little secret? I feel so used!

"Once or twice a year, since I turned twenty one. College was just one long party though."

"Don't forget New York." I chime in with a shudder. "Never forget New York."

Which prompts Magenta to elaborate on what is known to us (and some other friends and presumably some innocent bystanders who have been mentally scarred by what happened) as the New York incident. I slide into my seat next to Warren to catch the tail end of her story telling endeavour.

"- So after that she decided to never drink in bars again. Anywhere that you do not see the bottle opening or handle it yourself is a strict no no."

" Lesson to learn kids, it does not matter if a guy buys you a drink at the bar and you watch the cute bartender mix it, it can still be spiked and you will get drugged and depend upon your purple haired friend to rescue you." I say taking a long sip of precious, precious tea.

Eventually things cleared up. Once everyone had their caffeine, Madge and Layla began the motions for getting ready to leave, Zack and Will headed for the balcony to discuss stuff (superhero stuff, I could tell by the way they tensed up every time I looked at them, they still don't know I'm a super tee hee!) and all that was left was Warren and I sitting on the couch. It occurred to me then that he could just have up and left, gone across the hallway to his own house but instead he chose to stay and keep lil old hung-over me company! Just as that thought blossomed and the butterflies in my stomach began to unfurl their wings to begin to flutter, he opened his mouth and ruined it all.

"So I found out something else about our friend Dexter." Because of course, the only thing we can talk about is a dead guy. The butterflies turned back into caterpillars.

"And you're actually sharing it with me? I thought you were all, 'Ooh you can't get involved, it's too dangerous, you're just a school teacher, blah blah blah' regarding my involvement." I said sulkily, brooding over the fact that the moment I thought we were going to have had been ruined.

"You know Lucius Fox, I don't want to piss you off." He said with a shrug. I felt so used. And not in the good way either.

"So, you're not doing this because you like me or anything, you're doing it to get my contacts."

"Déjà vu," He muttered to himself before answering me. "Yeah, I'm sure you're a nice person," It's almost funny how he made that sound like a question. Almost."But there's no way I would let you do something this dangerous if you didn't know him."

"Oh hurrah, I've got the power! " I waved my hands half-heartedly, still smarting over the loss of my precious moment before returning to business. "So...What did you find out?"

"The cops haven't released this information yet but they think that Dexter's murder was not done by the 'Nine to Five killer' it was either a copycat or someone tried to deliberately make it look like that."

"Wait what? Why?" I was suddenly very awake every bit of grogginess leaving my mind.

"There were signs he was drugged, they don't know what with because his blood work came back clean but there was the mark of a hypodermic needle on his back. Whatever it is it's almost certainly not the Nine to Five killer because he just bludgeons them to death. Plus Dexter left work around an hour or so earlier because of a pipe burst in their headquarters that day but he was killed around six so there's a few hours missing there."

"So it wasn't random at all?"

"Dexter was not murdered for being a blue collar worker if that's what you mean. Whoever it was, he-"

"Or she. If he was drugged it might be because the killer was female and couldn't overpower him on her own, but what for?"

"He had no personal life so it can't be that although we need to check what happened in that missing hour but it's almost certainly something to do with his work."

"I think they used him to get access to the DSSI database. Every single active Superhero's secret identity is listed on it and if a super villain gets their hands on that kind of information, the results could be catastrophic. Even worse if it's a civilian."

"I doubt a civilian's going to kill Dexter for such information."

"You'd be surprised, I've read many a post on a forum online that really slagged off supers because the normal guys who work in defence agencies have to deal with the same stuff that Supers do but without the protection of a superpower or the higher healing rate that usually comes with them. Somebody who feels strongly enough about this would manage to find Dexter just fine, I mean when you think about the fact that he's got a degree in software engineering and he works for the statistical department at Wayne enterprises which is known for its pro-Superhero stance, it's easy to put the pieces together."

He stared at me as if surprised by the amount of research I had done in this. Or maybe he was surprised that I managed to say something that did not make me seem like an idiot? "You've really put a lot of thought into it."

"I watch a shitload of TV, teach teenagers and have been part of innumerable online fan wars, trust me, I know human nature. Hey, why don't you ask your DSSI contact to check if the database was accessed anytime after Dexter was killed? I don't know what the security protocol is though."

"I did, he said he'd get back to –" His cell phone chirped and soon he was engrossed in typing into his Blackberry with a fervour that I usually only saw in my students.

"Oh hey the girls are ready." Zack says from behind me and I look up in shock. He's surprisingly quiet on his feet for such a large person. Magenta and Layla had finally stepped out looking much more human than they had when they woke up. Will and Layla gazed into each other's eyes while engaging in their regular lovey-dovey chitchat and Magenta pushed Zack around. The two of us sat on the couch and I watched them in fascination, for two examples of high school sweethearts they are really quite different from one another.

"Kill me." I say to Warren who was still immersed in his phone as I watch the nauseating display of affection.

"That was the DSSI guy."

"Warren!" Will says utterly and absolutely alarmed and before I could ask him why he was freaking out Warren piped in, "Relax she's a super."Because of course even though I had only just been laughing about the fact that Will and Zack had no idea about my non-civilian status, I had managed to completely forget that.

"Chill."I say bluntly as Zack spluttered and Will questioned Layla with an incredibly dramatic 'You knew?!' ( she just groaned and buried her head in the pillow) before turning to Warren again. "So what did he say?"

"Someone used Dexter's account to access the database an hour after he was killed. But they also accessed the Sky High student's roster that they keep as a backup for the school."

"Shit."

"What are you guys talking about?" Zack asked once he had calmed down and Will had begun talking like a normal person.

"Murder!" I said in a creepy voice before bursting into maniacal laughter.

"Come on guys, really what are you talking about?"

"No seriously we're talking about murder." I said with a straight face.

And then he began backing away slowly. Oh look, yet another person that I've managed to alienate.

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**A/N: Yeah, I'm not that happy with this chapter _**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: It's late I know, but I got distracted by another fandom. That and deciding names for supervillains is apparently time-consuming.**

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Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck! I cannot believe this is fucking happening!

(Pardon my language)

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Well it finally happened, the one thing that I could not help but expect to happen just happened. The school got taken over on Homecoming again. How many times must this happen? Why must I spend my first ever Homecoming chaperoning and somehow still wind up crawling through vents to lead my freshmen babies to safety?!

Well at least I have the consolation of knowing that Magenta would be coming to save us and bring her merry bunch of Men (and Women) in spandex with her now that I've sent her an SOS. Ooh Warren in spandex...

Oh look there's something glowing on the end of the vent over there, is that Zack?

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It was Zack. It was also Magenta and Warren. Ethan, Layla and Will had apparently gone the other way and headed directly to the gym to confront the evil villain taking over the school while Madge Zack and Warren were there to help us get the few students who made it out of the gym before out of there and to a safe place.

"How'd you guys get here so quickly?" I asked as I was helped out of the vent I was crawling out of by a most courteous Warren Peace who was clad in the most sinful costume I have ever seen. Black and tight and with that red phoenix on fire running down the middle, reflecting the tattoos he had on his wrist.

"Warren had Ron on standby, just in case. "

"Ooookay, right now we need to get these kids safe and head to my classroom."

"We want to help too." Reggie said heroically coming to the front, standing out amidst the freshmen sidekick as the only senior hero there. Of course the officious tone in which he spoke didn't help much, which was probably why Luna snorted in derision. She's really getting quite sassy nowadays, I like it.

"Speak for yourself, I'm deadweight on these heels." It's almost funny how much like Zack and Madge they are. I could see Madge smiling and nodding in approval of her words too. They really are birds of the same feather.

"So we go to our lockers and change into our gym clothes, no biggie." Reggie said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world even though it hadn't really occurred to anyone else. That actually made sense and the other kids seemed to be mulling it over which made me quite antsy.

"Yeah not going to happen, "I said sternly hoping to stop them from taking his words seriously, "You are all going straight home."

"Why do I get the feeling you think you're going to be joining us in the fight?" Warren said much to my consternation.

Look I may be a pain in the ass but I'm not so bad that Warren had to say that like it was the most stupid thing he'd ever heard, I went to the same school as him, I learnt how to handle dangerous situations too, it's not fair that my abilities get judged on basis of the fact that I don't save people on a daily basis. To be perfectly honest I'm pretty sure I have the more dangerous job and tonight simply proved it.

"Uh because I'm trained for it? Admittedly I prefer to teach as opposed to going out there and being yet another cliché in tights but I am capable of kicking your butt." If he thinks that I'm backing down he's got something else coming.

"Um...guys?" Our mini-war was interrupted by Luna's small voice, we turned our glares at her. She gulped and pointed behind us where a horde (okay, there were about twenty of them)of cloned henchmen stood a few meters away trying to sneak up on us, all armed with ray guns and UltraTasers, one even had tiny glowing spheres attached to his utility belt that I didn't recognise.

The silence that followed was broken by a single shriek of terror. You know for a big guy who has hit puberty and generally had a really deep voice, Harold sound like a girl when he screams. Nevertheless his scream was all that the clones needed and with a war cry of 'Get them!' they descended upon us like...something that descends quickly.

"The one vent that you take and it leads into a dead end!" Magenta said with *gasp* actual _emotion_ in her voice.

"Go back into the vent, Zack you take point, Reggie use your powers and expand the space inside to find a way out." I instruct taking the Adjustable Mini-Ray Gun (multiple settings: freeze ray, heat ray, stun ray and shrink ray) out of my purse in preparation for a standoff.

"Take point?" Zack says looking confused, while I loaded up my gun cranking the battery up as high as it got and Peace threw fireball at the clones, hoping to slow them down.

"Go in first and light the way."

"Got it." He said and they began moving quickly after that Magenta guiding them in as I accompanied Peace in firing blast after blast at the clones that were steadily creeping closer, seemingly mutating to form more of themselves like that cheerleader Penny with Royal Pain had done years ago. Between my zapping and his fireballs we were keeping up a good pace until one of the fireballs hit the clone who was creating more of himself. That stopped the numbers of the clones from growing but it also angered some of the others who began throwing icicles like the ones that Warren's ex used to make and throwing them at him.

"Guys come on!" Madge said as she went into the air vent and we made a move towards the grate only to be stopped as one of the clones threw a glowing sphere at it. It broke open and let out a smoke and when the haze cleared, we were surrounded by the clones and an energy barrier had formed around the once open vent.

"How much charge do you have on your gun?"

"Worth no more than five uses."

"I count at least fifteen of them."

"My fists are re-usable."

"Let's get to it then."

With those words we were off, in a flurry of limbs(me), fireballs( him), heavy purse used as a bludgeoning tool (me) and flame shaped throwing stars (him) we managed to take down the mob of minions.

It was one of the most exhilarating few minutes of my life. While I've studied kung-fu kickboxing and many other ways of kicking butt (hurray for overprotective fathers who think a girl should know how to defend herself!), I've never had the chance to apply them in actual combat. Girl fights end with the right words that send your opponent into tears and guys are reluctant to fight once you detail the many ways in which you could castrate them. Beyond the spars in gyms where everyone holds back and pulls punches, I've never been in proper, **proper** fight. My adrenaline was at an all time high as I watched my opponents lying in a mass of broken limbs and unconscious bodies.

So it's not _really_ my fault that when I felt a hand on my shoulder, I reacted by throwing the owner of the aforementioned limb over my shoulder onto the ground, pressing my knee into his gut while my hands choked him and found myself staring into the black brown eyes of Mr Warren Peace.

He has pretty eyes. They're such a nice deep colour, like the bitterest dark chocolate in the world. I hate dark chocolate but it's good in cooking. Especially in brownies. Mmmm brownies...

I am so hungry.

"If you wanted me on by back all you had to do was ask." He said amusedly, sounding incredibly winded and I took my hands away from his neck like it had burnt me.

"I d-didn't-I mean-I'm so sorry!" I stuttered the words out, because seriously? Was Warren really making innuendo while in a life or death type situation?! Or worse, did he know I have the hots for him?!

"Just kidding, relax."

That is strangely disappointing.

"Mind getting off me now?" Before I could blush and offer apologies while getting up so fast I got a head rush a sound caught our attention and we looked up to see a clone running away from us.

You know that adrenaline I was talking about? Well it must still have been running around my system because I pulled one of my high heels off and threw it at the head of that clone.

**And it didn't miss!**

It didn't freaking miss! You don't know how big an achievement it is for me but to put it simply, I can't throw. Or catch. Last time we were playing cricket and I went to throw the ball and it plonked right in front of me and then dribbled away sadly in the other direction. My five year old niece throws better than me.

And I managed to throw a heel at an evil henchman person and it didn't miss!

I have achieved more in this one day than I have in my whole life! That's sad actually...

Moooooving on, I threw a heel at the clone and he was knocked out by it and we ran to him and found that he was still coherent which of course meant that we should interrogate him for information.

"Could you please tell us who's behind this evil plot?" I asked politely while Warren had him up against a locker, straining against the grip of the semi-invincible pyro. He ignored me and began laughing. Maniacally too. Which made me a bit angry. "I asked you a question." I said my tone a bit more frosty this time.

"You really think I'm going to tell you?"

To which I shrug. "If you don't I'll just poke into your head, get the information and then leave you with the entire works of Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus playing in your head on loop. But don't worry the fine folks at Arkham Asylum will take good care of you once you've lost your mind. Literally." I said (see also:**lied**) with a grin and he paled at my words."What?" I remark as I take the surgical gloves out of my purse (don't ask me why I have them) and pull them over my hands snapping them noisily and he paled even further.

"I'll talk, I'll talk!"And then he cowered in fear.

"Well?"

"The boss is looking for this kid, he thinks it might be his long lost son, I don't know anything else, please don't hurt me!"

He must really dislike Bieber.

"Who's your boss?"

"MacroManiac!" With those words said he outlived his usefulness, so Warren conked him over the head and rendered him unconscious.

MacroManiac, the man with the ability to grow into a giant version of himself who went on rampages, destroying vast section of cities while also maintaining the ability to outsmart heroes because of his super sized brain.

But as far as I remembered, his powers had been neutralized after he was finally trapped by Elementia and The Human Torch(Torch JR as he was known to the Superhero community since it was actually his son who took up his father's mantle, also the Superhero that Warren is currently interning under)after a long and arduous battle.

"Wasn't he stripped of his powers?" I asked Warren after knocking the clone unconscious.

"It makes sense, The Human Torch has been missing for the past four days, but if he's looking for a specific person then he should have found him already, he has most of the students with him."

"Harold has the power to shrink. It's quite unstable at the moment and really he can only shrink by a few inches so all it really does is make him shorter, it is one of the reasons why he isn't a Hero, but he can shrink and it could be related to MacroManiac's powers. And he's the one of the few students that are missing, if the kid he was looking for was already among the ones that were captured he wouldn't have sent out people to make sure that the building was secured. Not _so_ many of them."

"Where does that vent lead out to?"

"Well the gym, but I did tell Reggie to use his powers so they might have ended up somewhere else. We could ask them, don't you have your communicator? I would use my cell phone but I might have to use the battery in the ray gun."

"Oh, right."

I get the feeling Warren doesn't use his communicator much.

Nevertheless after tinkering about a bit (he **really** doesn't use it much), a Magenta hologram appeared out of the gadget on his wrist (so cool!).

"We have a problem."

"What happened?"

"We got to the Freshman Sidekick classroom and the clones were already there, we fought them off but they got the whiny kid and Luna."

"Madge all my kids are whiny, which one are you talking about?"

She turned away to ask the kids who was the other one and I prayed that it wasn't Harold.

"Reggie says it was Harold, they were _really_ after him and Luna was trying to save him and got caught in the middle of it."

Ooh look a drain, what's that in it? Why, all my hopes and dreams, of course!

"Which way were they headed?"

"Cafeteria, we'll meet you there."

And so it begins.

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"Holy cow." Those were the only words I could manage. When we reached the cafeteria, and by 'we' I mean Peace and I because Magenta and Zack (which reminds me, where the hell are Layla and Will?) had yet to show up and against all rules of safety we decided to go ahead without them.

By ahead of course I mean into the portal in the cafeteria that led into MacroManiac's evil lair. Yes, a portal, a glowing hole in the time-space continuum. Professor Medulla would have a field day with this.

Now, I haven't really been to a lot of evil lairs, in fact I've _never_ been to any evil lair. So I don't really have much of a basis of comparison, but MacroManiac's evil lair is pretty scary. It was dark and shadowed and there were large piles of old junk accentuated by newer machines that had flashing lights on them that caused even more shadows to be cast. We moved down the passages that led away from the open portal and into the heart of the hideaway where booming voices were heard.

"...Soon I shall have my powers again and there's nothing you could do to stop me!" said MacroManiac, finishing his monologue with the traditional evil laugh. From my vantage point he seemed to sparkle but when I squinted a bit I saw that he was wearing a suit of armour made out of diamonds.

"You stay here, I'm going to try to find his blind spot and free Luna and Harold. When Zack and Magenta come here, tell them to wait for my cue." whispered Warren, moving away as soon as I nodded in agreement. I may be reckless and suicidal but not when one of my students is strapped to a machine while another is being held captive by evil cronies.

Actually why is Harold strapped to the machine? I really wish I hadn't missed MacroManiac's monologue, now I have no idea what's going on, all I know is that Harold's strapped to a machine that's glowing, Luna's being held back by the clone-minions, the Human Torch has been rendered immobile because of kryptonite, Warren Peace is trying to pinpoint MacroManiac's weaknesses and I'm hiding behind this strange dome shaped machine.

"Ker-praaark!" The squawk sound shook me out of my worrisome thoughts and I found myself staring at a strange creature that had the face of a dog, the beak and wattles of a chicken and the plumage of a parrot. It stared at me with its red eyes, cocking its head to the right before squawking again.

I. Hate. Birds. Especially weird mutated birds

"Easy there ..." I held my hands out in a placating gesture only to have it squawk even louder. And then it began coming closer.

I've mentioned this before but I really, really, **really** don't like birds. So when it charged at me suddenly, my instinct was to scream and run, which caught the attention of the clone-minions.

And then I felt like I was hit by a bludgeon, the room started spinning and everything turned black.

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"What happened?" I said groggily as I came to. It's not every day that I wake up in the infirmary with a crazy headache and what felt like a million tiny scratches all over my head.

"You were hit by a stun ray." Warren Peace's voice shook me out of my musings. He was sat on a chair near the bed where I lay, with a blanket wrapped around him, which was strange because I didn't really count him as one of the people who might need a blanket, after all why would a human furnace need a blanket? Nevertheless, he sat there shivering slightly.

"I remember that bit" I lied,I have no recollection of this. " But why does my head feel so scratchy? And why are you shivering?" I said running my hands through my hair confusedly only to find something strange in it. "Is that a feather?!"

It _was_ a feather. To be specific it was an unnaturally neon red feather.

"Well after you were knocked out, one of the parrot-chicken-dog mutants thought it was okay to...peck you." While he was talking I kept on finding more and more of those feathers in my hair and they felt incredibly itchy.

"What the heck, was it shedding or something?" No really there was an incredible amount, I wouldn't be surprised if my hair was bigger than Dolly Parton's considering the sheer volume of feathers stuffed in it. Trying to get them out without a mirror to guide me, I was making it even more tangled.

To which Warren Peace chuckled lowly and I could swear I heard the sound deep in my bones. To be specific my knees, were I were standing I would have toppled over."Need some help?"

"Yes please."

He reached out and began picking out the feathers in my hair. The only thing separating my skin from his fingers was the leather of his gloves. And a dense covering of feathers but that was lessening under his ministrations.

"I hate chickens. Do you know, I used to be a vegetarian before I met them." I said in an effort to stop myself from moaning when his leather tipped fingers grazed my scalp.

"Is that so?" He said indulgently. If this was the treatment I'd get for having mutated birds attack me, I would let them do to me as they wish.

"Yup but then we went on a farm trip, a chicken pecked a chunk of flesh out of my ankle clean and I vowed to take my vengeance by eating as many of its brethren as I could. So now I eat chickens for revenge."

Before he could reply the voices of everyone (and by everyone, I mean EVERYONE) sounded down the hallway. He pulled his hands away from my hair with one last tug on a feather and returned to his place on the chair and just like that the moment passed. That seems to happen often. Soon the tiny room was filled by Nurse Spex, Madge, Layla, Will, Ethan, Zack, Harold, Luna and Reggie, all the grownups still in their SuperHero suits.

"Yo Angelica, you totally missed out man!" Zack said enthusiastically while the rest nodded along.

"I was busy being unconscious and being pecked to death by mutant birds, catch me up."

"So Madge and I were getting the kid out of the machine and then **boom** out of nowhere Warren goes supernova and burns the diamond suit into smoke, even **Will**, Mr Invincible himself, got a burn! After that it was easy pickings."

"I don't understand."

"We came, we saw, we unstrapped whiny kid. While we were busy with that something happened between Warren and MacroManiac and the next thing we know there's a blistering heat wave sweeping through the whole room. When we looked up Warren was red hot. By then Will, Layla and Ethan were done getting the kids in the gym out of the force shield so they rushed over to help us and when Will went to check if Warren was okay he got a first degree burn. No idea what MacroManiac said to get Warren so angry though."

And then the attention turned to Warren whose shivering got suddenly more pronounced and Nurse Spex began fussing over him. I'm guessing he expended too much energy going 'supernova' as Zack called it and now he was suffering from the after effects.

"Maybe Luna knows." Said Reggie turning to her in an effort to get answers but she just shrugged.

"I was kind of busy fighting off the henchmen. It was all over in a flash after that, Mr Human Torch got better because the kryptonite was burnt as well and then we rescued Teach from the Parrot-chicken-dog thing. I swear that thing is invincible, everyone else was recovering from the heatwave but that thing just kept on peck-peck-pecking. I think it likes you, Teach."

I shuddered in horror only to wince when the movement aggravated my headache. Warren silently passed me a cold compress and I plonked it over my head gently sulking while the rest grew amused at my pain. Bloody sadists.

But something in that exchange caught Magenta's attention and she narrowed her eyes at me in silent question.

'We need to talk' she mouthed and I shrunk into myself with a sigh. I had an interrogation to prepare for.

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	9. Chapter 9

"Harold, will you stay back a bit? I wanted to talk to you."

He reluctantly broke away from the herd of students making their way to the cafeteria, Luna squeezing his shoulder comfortingly before leaving him to my clutches after giving me a meaningful nod.

I was worried about Harold. He'd been incredibly quiet all week long and while he was never truly the most talkative of the bunch, he always had questions to ask about our syllabus. Ever since Homecoming though, he'd kept to himself choosing to spend his lunch period in the Library rather than with the other students. Luna herself had asked me to look into it because he kept on shutting her out.

"Harold, you're being quiet. It's freaking me out. So you can talk to me about it or would you rather I call upon you in class whenever I feel like making you talk and in general hounding you until you give in." Because I am as subtle as a sledgehammer.

Nevertheless it got some reaction from him as he glowered sadly at me as opposed to the polite evading he'd been indulging in the last week and began talking in the quiet, soft-spoken, self-depreciating way that Will often does.

"Well let's see, I just found out my birth father was a Super Villain and he wanted to use me to get his powers back, he actually **killed** a man in cold blood just to get to me, my adoptive parents are actually former _victims_ of his, they still don't know who my birth mother was by the way, my powers are still fucking useless and my crush is now mooning over a senior so yes, I'm not feeling up to being an ideal student right now."

I have to admit I am not proud of what my response to that whole speech was. In fact if I could I would go back in time and change it. Although that might not be the best thing to do considering I did finally get through to him in the end.

"You had a crush on Luna?!" Apparently the sheer disbelief in my voice was hard to handle because he made a strange gurgling sound and glared at me. Again.

"Of all the things I just said you only heard that?!"He said throwing his hands up in the air and I struggled to make excuses. It's a good thing I have such experience in lying. Note to Self: Add a sub lesson to the class about thinking quick on your feet when your Super identity is questioned.

"Well I also heard the part where you used language and may I just say you have earned yourself detention young man, but yes the Luna bit is the only part you can change the rest of it is beyond your control anyway. Your powers can still change, they are unstable and usually prone to change up until twenty five years of age any way, and the stuff about your parents, well you can't control it can you. You can't choose whose sperm fertilised the ova etc so really you just have to accept it and move on."

"But what if I turn out to be like him? What if I turn into an empty shell of a person who is out for revenge against every Superhero in the community because my powers suck?"

"Well then that has more to do with your powers than your birth father. You can't really blame him for it."

"You're really not that good at this." He deadpans but I can feel that he isn't convinced with my argument (although it makes perfect sense).

"You're bitc-" I caught myself barely in time and substituted the word for something kid friendly. See this is what happens when I spend too much time around people my age, I become an utter potty mouth! "...cribbing about your sperm donor having such an important influence over your life and you fail to realise that you were saved by Warren Peace aka Ember aka a man who spent a great deal of his time in this school being known as Barron Battle's son and expected to turn out like his father. So get over yourself, you're only a Super Villain if you want to be."

So this part of my speech finally gets to him and he breathes out heavily seemingly a bit more at peace with himself even though still dejected. Which is when I move on to a more sensitive topic. "Now about Luna-"

"No. Please Teach, do not even begin with that one. It's not like her little thing for Reggie is going anywhere not when he is clearly _far_ too busy crushing on you."

Which was, as you might expect it to be, news to me.

"What?"I said blinking furiously with my mouth wide open, unable to even put any sense of an exclamation into that word. I'm pretty sure I looked like a fish right then.

"Why do you think he asked you to tutor him?"

"What?"

"I think I'm going to go now, you'll probably need some time to take it all in." He backed away slowly but before he could leave I remembered.

"Didn't I already say that you have detention?"

.

.

.

"So Harold like Luna who likes Reggie who likes you?" Layla said dipping the spoon into the carton of ice-cream the three of us were huddled over on my kitchen table. Magenta had ever so kindly put off the Spanish inquisition for a time when Layla could also join in and grill me about whatever it was that Magenta had seen at Homecoming. Unfortunately that time was now. Fortunately I had distracted them with Harold's dilemma, or so I thought.

"Let me complete that," Magenta butted in. "So Harold likes Luna who likes Reggie who likes you who likes Warren who is represented in Harold's dilemma consisting mainly of SuperVillainous father issues."

"When you put it like that..." Before I could complete the sentence Layla threw a hand in the air (thereby flinging some ice-cream onto the wall behind her) and shouted.

"Aha! So you don't deny it!"

"I've never denied it because I was never asked about it. Evading and denying are two completely different things you know." I say sulkily taking a towel out and mopping the wall up before the ice cream managed to leave a stain. Actually, can dairy products leave stains? I must remember to look it up.

"Well I'm asking now." When I failed to respond Magenta rolled her eyes and sighed. "Do you have a crush on Warren Peace?"

"Define crush."

"Do you want him in an emotional and/or physical manner?"

"Yes."

"Emotional or physical?"

"Both." I said in a small voice still sulking while the other two smothered whoops of victory. "Look it's not a big deal."

"It **is** a big deal, you don't have crushes, you have flings that you fling away once you're done with them, _you_ don't do emotional commitments." Magenta says excitedly which is strange because Magenta doesn't do excitement and Layla turns to me in askance before gushing.

"So how long has this been going on?"

I look at their faces aglow with curiosity and some unnamed emotion that honestly scared me to the bone and I knew that there was no getting out of this. With that thought in mind I sighed and began to tell the tale.

"Okay I'll tell you everything, but you have to promise that there will be no meddling, no divulgence of any details that I'm revealing, no strange looks, no matchmaking, no meddling-"

"You said that twice." Layla burst in and I glared at the interruption.

"It's an important detail that needs repetition. So do you promise?"

"Of course." Layla says and Magenta nods in acquiescence. I know they're not really going to stick to any of the stuff I just said but I also know that if I don't tell, they will _hound_ me in my every waking second and I give in.

"It's not really a big deal it was just this one time in freshman year-" A sudden high pitched dolphin squeal emitted by Layla interrupted my talk.

"Since Freshman year?!"

"Look just bear in mind that this was before everyone knew him as Warren Peace Barron Battle's son but as Warren Peace, that really cool guy who has fire coming out of his hands. So this is before he got the flame tattoos, well at least before he allowed people to see his flame tattoos and before he was a brooding, sulky nightmare and before he wore contact lenses every freaking day so there were times when he would wear the glasses to school. This was early in the school year, at that point in time no one was scared of him, even the Hero Support class adored him because he didn't bully them and even stood up for them once in a while and the Hero class, well he had cool powers that just made him an instant hit with that crowd."

"Aww were you the nerdy quiet girl that has a crush on the popular boy with the secret heart of gold?" Layla interrupts again (seriously what is with this girl and the constant butting in?) and Magenta and I both glare at her because she has _clearly_ been watching way too many teen movies.

"No I did not like him in the 'nerdy girl that likes popular boy' way. I was invisible and kept away from someone as high profile as him because it would interrupt my social experiment and draw attention to myself. But one lunch period when I was in the cafeteria and he sat down on the table adjacent to mine. I was reading a book and he asked me what I was reading. When I told him it was the library's copy of 'The Magical Worlds of Harry Potter' because mine had been confiscated by Principal Powers because I was reading it during Morning Assembly, he didn't laugh or look at me weird, he just asked me if it was the revised version. I swear in that one moment I heard violins playing and Etta James began singing in my head. The fact that the conversation that followed was witty and engaging and humorous was an added bonus." It's strange how none of that is an exaggeration, it's an actual account of what happened in my head.

"But he doesn't remember you from school." Magenta said softly as if consoling me while Layla glared at me for presumably the horribly boring story of why I fell in like with Warren.

"How is that any different from 'nerdy girl likes popular guy'?!" She suddenly yells and I shush her knowing that with only two doors in between is where the subject of our conversation lives.

"On that very same day, somebody found a yearbook with Barron Battle's graduation picture and realised that Peace looks exactly like him. By the end of the day everyone in school knew that Warren was his son and I'm guessing that the events of the day pushed the incident out of his head. So the next day people began whispering every time he was in the hallway and crowds parted for him like the red sea before Moses. He was grumpy after that but slowly the changes in him became more and more obvious and he turned into the cantankerous boy you met in your freshman year. The sidekick class kept on defending him though because he'd been so nice to them when he didn't need to be, that's why when you guys saved the school on Homecoming the first time round, Brian from my class went around bragging about how he always knew Warren was nice and that we should all have listened to him."

"I repeat, how is that any different from 'nerdy girl likes popular guy'?"

"Because it was more like 'nerdy girl likes nerdy guy'. Besides it's not like I was pining for him-" I was, "Or like I was stalking him-" I was "Or like I tried to ingratiate myself with him-" I could have done so via Magenta but again, my social experiment took priority. Plus I knew I'd be the twitchy, spazzy ball of nerves that he still somehow turns me into. "Look the bottom line is I don't want him to be an integral part of my life."

"What a load of bull, you're just afraid because you have actual feelings for him so instead of going after the real deal you go after weak imitations of the man."

"I do not!" Really I don't, I mean, yes most of the guys I have been involved with have shared some similarities with him but that's called having a type not going after weak imitations of my high school crush that I am totally over, by the way. Not that there was anything to get over.

"Yes you do!" Layla said which really bugged me.

"You don't even know what Magenta is talking about! You don't know my dating history, so why are you agreeing with Madge?"

"I know a person in denial when I see one and you have the word 'Denial' flashing over your head like a neon sign." She nods knowingly, ignoring me as I rolled my eyes at her. "Plus Magenta filled me in on our way here. I know about your commitment issues."

"I don't have commitment issues!"

"Because you don't have commitment to begin with!" With this last exclamation she began coughing lightly. "Okay we need to stop yelling."

"We need to stop talking about me. Don't you people have anything going on in your pitiful clichéd SuperHero lives?" I asked with (presumably) rays of hope shining out of my eyes and luckily Magenta changed the topic.

"Oh yeah you said you had something to tell us." Magenta said to Layla who did a 180 degree turn and ducked her head with a shy smile.

"Will and I are moving in together!"

"That's great, congratulations!"

"So can I take your apartment now? My flatmate has now taken to dousing me with 'holy water' every time I step in."

"First off thank you Angelica for reacting appropriately to my good news and yes Madge you can take my apartment now." She continued grinning like an idiot for a little while longer before jumping up suddenly."Oh I have to tell Warren too, be right back!" She said and flitted out of my house and to the one across the hallway while Magenta turns to me with a venomous look on her face.

"How come you didn't tell me that you have a monumental crush on Warren? I thought we were friends, I thought we told each other everything!" I shushed her, glancing at the door and we continued our conversation in the form of furious whispers.

"We are friends, but you're also friends with _him _and I don't want to take the risk of it. How would I bring it up anyway, 'Hey Madge I'm keen on that pyro you're friends with, you know, the one who's dating The Icy One'. Besides which I wanted to do my best to forget all about it and move on and I can't do that if I know that you know, every time I'd look at you I'd think 'She knows' and it would ruin everything!"

"That is such screwed up logic that it's not even logic. Also, The Icy One? That is fantastic!"

"I can't remember her name most of the time so I call her The Icy One, now about this housewarming thing, am I invited too?"

"Of course you are, why else would she mention it in front of you?"

"I know but she's only known me for a few weeks and we've only hung out together once or twice , why would I be invited to her housewarming?!"

"We got drunk together, that's bonding on a whole different level Angie."

"If you say so, hey do we have to get them presents?"

"I think so."

"So how long before he asks her to marry him?"

"It'll probably be in the next few months. Definitely before Christmas, that'll give her enough time to plan a spring wedding. What's taking her so long?"

"You should go out and check." I say knowingly. "They might have killed each other."

"You should some with me too, what if I need help moving the bodies?" She said grabbing my arm and dragging me reluctantly out the door and we found ourselves looking at Warren and Layla who were stood in the hallway. An awkward silence followed before Layla burst into nervous fake giggles.

"We were just wondering what was taking so long." I said helpfully when no one reacted to the giggles.

"Oh I was just convincing Warren here to come with us to the mall to help us pick out some furniture."

"Oh good, have fun." I used this as a cue to leave and backed away into my home fully intent upon locking the door behind me when the two girls grabbed my arms and dragged me out again. Why am I so easy to drag? I really need to work on lowering my centre of gravity.

"Oh no you don't, you're coming with us."

"But why! I just want to go back and sleep and watch bad TV and wonder if I should get a cat! I don't want to socialise!"

"Well you should have thought of that before giving us blackmail material. And before you say it, there was no mention of blackmail in our promises." Layla is really good at finding loopholes. No wonder she's studying to be a lawyer.

"It was implied!"

"Still you're coming with us." Layla said in no arguments tone (that I usually use in class) before smirking a bit. "Actually you know what, Madge and I have something to do right now, so why don't you and Warren just meet us at the mall in half an hour or so. You can even travel together to reduce your carbon footprint." Without waiting for a reply the two practically ran off leaving Warren and I staring at their backs in the hallway.

"So," He finally said. "That was strange."

"I think you mean awkward as fu-heck, awkward as heck. See this is what happens when I deal with people my age for a long period of time, I all but swore today in school and I don't want that happening again. There is no way I'm going to let them blackmail me, you're on your own."

"You do realise that the minute they find out you aren't coming they'll come back to get you." For the first time ever I was not hyperaware of Warren's presence or voice, the feeling of being utterly and absolutely annoyed overriding everything else.

"Tell Magenta I know where she was on 16 December 2007. That should keep her from interfering."

I told her I'd be using her Spice Girls mania as blackmail one day and that day has arrived, muahahahahahahahahahahahaha!


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I'm sorry this chapter took so long, I had it all written out and then I read it and thought it was crap and rewrote it entirely.**

_._

_._

_._

"_My dear, it doesn't say 'Adopta Ghost'. Look carefully and you'll see a space between the middle letters. It says..."_

The narrator continued telling the tale surrounded by silent toddlers while I danced in my mind. The local bookstore was having a book reading session and one of the books chosen to be read out had been suggested by me and now, using my niece as an excuse, I was getting to hear Eva Ibbotson's 'Dial a Ghost' being read out loud. It reminds me of elementary school when the librarian Mrs Renoll would read us a book every day.

I miss being a child.

It's been one week since Layla announced that she was moving in with Will and since then I've met her and Madge twice already, both times they began making elaborate plans to get Warren and I together but to no avail as I pointed out the failures in each and every one, criticising how childish all of their schemes were, one of them even included locking the two of us together in a closet! Not only was it a silly plan considering they had no idea how they would manage to do that but also, how horribly cliché is that? Putting two people in an enclosed space is one of the most overused plot devices ever, which is why I'm staying away from all closets around them but if I know Madge well (which I do) she'll find a way around it.

Oh well, at least I got to know Layla a bit better from all the times we'd met up. She's really quite incredibly perceptive for someone who seems to be so trusting. In fact Will is far easier to fool than her although the years of superhero work had toughened him up as well. Speaking of Superheroes...

"Angelica?" Because somehow Warren Peace was there, standing behind me looking confused and adorable and hunky in a dull green Guns and Roses t-shirt and a leather jacket, clutching a book about Horticulture in his hands. "What are you doing here?"

"Using my niece as an excuse to listen to a reading of my most favourite children's book ever, what about you?"

"I thought I might look around for a Housewarming gift."

"I hope you're not giving them that book." Upon hearing that, he looked at the book, a frown marring his perfect brow... I need to stop channelling my inner Shakespeare.

"Why not? Layla loves gardening-"

"And I suppose Will does too? We're supposed to get _them_ a gift not _her_. Trust me it's a bad idea. You can get that book for her on Christmas though."

He sighs and looks even more perturbed than he did a minute ago and I almost feel bad for bursting his bubble. "So what else could I get them?"

"Well you could get them a gift basket, or some lessons they could take as a couple, maybe some fine cutlery, a coffee machine if they're heavy coffee drinkers, a his and hers towel set, a cookbook or-"

"I'll get them a cookbook that sounds good." He says quickly, cutting into my speech and turns away to look at the Home section of the bookstore before turning to me really quickly. "You're going to be right here right? I might need help..."

"Hey I'm going to be here until the story is finished so you have until then. Get something that matches their dietary specifications."

"That makes sense." He mutters abstractly and wanders off before returning with four books in hand. "I'm just giving them all of these. What about you?"

"I'm going to hand paint a house name plate with the words 'Layla Williams and Will Stronghold' on it, maybe with a vine creeping around it as the border. Shouldn't take too long, my Dad said he'd help me with it and he's got awesome power tools and lasers." Unfortunately the instinctual need for spirit fingers while saying the word lasers took over. Luckily he found it amusing not childish and ridiculous, at least if the slight smile was anything to go by.

"Oh. I suggest you leave the surnames off, Stronghold says he's going to propose soon."

"Called it!"

"You're kidding."

"No really, Madge and I talked about it, she said he'd probably propose before Christmas so that they can have a spring wedding."

"Huh. Well she's right."

"She usually is. It's strange really, she's like Dumbledore. Or Gandalf. So how was furniture shopping with the soon to be Mr and Mrs Stronghold?"

"It was strange. I don't know why they stuck to Pottery Barn when Will could have just flown anywhere in the world and carried the stuff over here." Because Layla and Magenta are meddling witches of course. "Magenta squeaked when I told her the December 2007 thing, what was that about?"

"16th December 2007 is a reference to the only piece of blackmail I have on Magenta." By which I mean the time she dragged me to a Spice Girls concert at the O2 and sang along to every single song on their set list with a gigantic grin on her face and cried at the end of it. Of course no one knows about this as she hides her fangirlism from everyone else.

"Really?" He looked intrigued and intrigue looked good on him.

"Yup, unfortunately it's the only piece of blackmail I have. It's a good thing it's so embarrassing because she has a _lot_ more on me."

"Why Angelica, were you a bad girl?" He says tilting his head with an amused glint in his eyes, clearly teasing and I can't help but tease him right back, crossing my arms and shrugging one shoulder casually.

"What makes you think I'm not one right now?" I ask innocently and he smiles before ducking his head and scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.

Ha, I made him nervous. Payback bitch! Wait, does that count as flirting?

"Anyway, did they actually manage to pick out anything for their house? My mum says the first sign of compatibility is how long it takes to find the right sofa."

"...I wasn't really paying attention."

"Of course you weren't." I rolled my eyes. Boys. They really can't handle any form of shopping can they?

"So are you just here for the book reading or...?"

"No Ellie needs new shoes so I thought I'd take her shoe shopping and then we'd go to the play centre on the second floor but her mom just called and they're going to pick her up early for some reason."

"Ellie, is that short for something?"

"Eloise is her actual name. _I_ wanted to name her Arwen but they refused to name her after a fictional character, but now that I've instilled my bookishness in her they're probably going to get a granddaughter who is named after a fictional character so in the end I still win."

"That's the most twisted piece of logic I've ever heard."

"You have not heard a lot of twisted logic then." I say impudently.

"Yes because when all the villains explain their plan in excruciating detail to me, their logic is completely sensible and not twisted at all." He comments sarcastically and I giggle.

"So what cookbooks did you get?"

"I don't really know, just picked the ones with the word vegetarian on them."

We spent the next half an hour flipping through the pictures in the books and rating how delicious they looked. By the end of it, I was salivating, Warren was wondering if he'd ever actually seen Layla or Will cook and the little tug on my skirt was telling me that the book reading session was over.

"Hallo Ellie, did you like the story?"

She nodded with a glance at Warren and hid behind my legs one hand tangling in my skirt tightly.

"Warren this is Eloise, Eloise this is Warren."

He waved and said hello and she hid even further, her grasp on my skirt tightening just that bit and she looked at me with gigantic grey eyes, not unlike my own. Well, except mine have more of a psychotic, deranged look to them, one of the many side effects of being an 'adult'.

"She's shy." I say by way of an explanation and before I could nudge her forward, Warren squatted down to meet her eye level and held a hand out. I don't know what magic he has with women but even my little Ellie responded to his smile and let go of my skirt to shake his hand and smile prettily.

"And how old are you Ellie?"

"I'm five." She held out an outstretched hand and spread her fingers to show how old she was proudly.

"Really? You're all grown up then aren't you?" He said with a grin and I melted, as did she.

She really liked being called a grown up and giggled. Although in all honesty he could have called her anything and she would have been fascinated. For a five year old she has great taste in men, and I'm not just saying that to validate my own ...liking for him.

I cleared my throat." Ellie your mum, called they're going to pick you up in a bit."

"But I wanted to stay and read!" She pouted adorably. See now I cannot get away with that, when I pout people just look at me weird.

"We'll stay here until your mum reaches here but once she's here we'll have to leave."

"Okay." She says wilting a bit and my heart breaks a little bit.

"Ellie do you want to see a magic trick?" Warren asks and when she nodded her head excitedly he waved his hand dramatically and pulled a flower from behind her ear where there was nothing before and handed it to her much to Ellie's delight. Warren Peace can do magic tricks, who would have known?

And so he spent the entire afternoon showing the two of us magic tricks and by the end of it I was completely forgotten as she watched him do his tricks, no hint of the shyness she had shown before.

That man should wear a 'Caution: Irresistible to those of the female nature' sign around his neck. He's dangerous.

.

.

.

"Bye Ellie!" I say waving my hands in goodbye vigorously but her eyes stay glued to Warren as she waved over her Dad's shoulder making me feel horribly replaced. She'd spent the whole time giggling with Warren and completely ignoring me while I had no idea whom to be jealous of, Ellie for getting all of Warren's attention or Warren for getting all of Ellie's attention! Luckily I was saved from contemplating it too much because her Mum and Dad came by barely an hour after and Warren and I once again found ourselves alone.

"So, what now?"

"I don't really want to go home, I have this feeling...this little voice telling me 'Don't go home!'."

"Do you hear voices often?"

"Sometimes I think I do but then it turns out that the sophomore class's resident telepath can't stop broadcasting his thoughts into people's minds and the entire school has been hearing his voice." Having a hormonal teenager's voice in your head talking about the dirty thoughts he has when the girls smack him around in Save The Citizen is _very_ disturbing.

"Oookay," He gave me a strange look before clearing his throat, "So what do we do now?"

He said we and by that we he meant the two of us, it gives me butterflies just thinking about it!

"I don't really want to shop," Next to me Warren sagged in relief the minute those words were out of my mouth, "Although-"

"No, you said you don't want to shop so we won't shop, anything but shopping."

"Goddess, how do you get anything done? You know you have to shop sometime or the other right?"

"I'd rather put it off indefinitely."

"Not even for clothes?" He shuddered so minutely I almost missed it. Almost. "Don't tell me your mum still does the shopping for you, the great Warren Peace, superhero extraordinaire afraid of shopping." I teased and he changed the subject with the speed of light.

"We could go eat."

"Oh good idea, I am _starving_ after looking at all those pictures of food."

Food!

So we tottered off to a tiny bistro tucked into the corner and awaited the arrival of our food. To distract myself from getting food envy (which did not work at all, the people next to us had this incredible platter of appetizers that looked so, so yummy!) I initiated the chit chat.

"So the tattoos, did they hurt?"

"Why, are you thinking about getting one?"

"I already have a few but yours look much larger than anything I've ever had done. Did it hurt a lot? Say on a scale of one to ten."

"Probably a five maybe a four. I don't know if it's just my semi invincibility though." He shrugged."Exactly how many tattoos do you have, a few makes it sound like a lot."

"I have five. Does anyone notice that your SuperHero alter ego has the same pattern printed onto the costume? I've never understood how a pair of glasses can blind the citizens to secret identities."

"Flames are relatively common right now, they're the equivalent of having Asian characters tattooed."

"Oh I know, I saw a man with the kanji for sushi tattooed onto his shiny bald head and I kept on wondering if he had no idea what it meant or he just really liked sushi!" He burst out into laughter.

"So what are your tattoos?" He asked once he'd calmed down.

"Just general stuff." I thought if I evaded enough he'd let it rest but no such luck.

"Oh come on Mercado, I showed you mine, you show me yours."

"Nope." I popped the 'p' impudently and before he could object our food (finally) arrived.

"At least tell me what they are." He picked up the thread while we, or rather I because the great Warren Peace along with having a fear of shopping also has an aversion to the sweet stuff, waited for dessert.

"I have a bow on either side of my hip, a smiley face on my big toe, a tiny owl on my wrist, a poem on the nape of my neck, same as Madge." I said simultaneously pointing at every body part I mentioned that had been inked.

"An owl on your wrist, you must be a Potter fan?"

"Of course."

"Is that why you wear the watch all the time? So that your students don't know you're a crazy fan of a children's book series?"

Now there were two ways to react to this, I could either say 'Oh no, apart from being a fantastic fashion accessory my watch is also a power suppressor that I have to wear because if I don't I might die in a few weeks as it sucks the life out of me and if I wear a neutralizer I'd probably die within minutes.' or there was the more convenient 'Yes I don't want my students to know I'm a Potter fangirl that haunts the Pottermore website like Moaning Myrtle haunts the first floor girl's bathroom at Hogwarts.'.

Of course I went with the second option, but for some reason he had this look in his eye like he knew something but was going to keep it to himself. Before I could question him however, my dessert was served. I can think of no better way to disrupt a train of thought than a slice of cheesecake. Now that I think about it, it's strange how we were both interrupted by food. How suspicious.

Once I was done with my wondrous dessert during the eating of which I had been treated to Warren staring at me like I was crazy with the occasional strangled sound coming from him, we left and were soon standing in the parking lot.

"So do you want to take a cab or walk?" He asked shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket.

"Walk definitely." I said and not just because the walk would take faaaaaar longer than a cab ride and would allow for much more interaction or at least sneaking peeks at him from the corner of my eye, I just needed the exercise.

No really, I did.

"So how's the crime reporting going?" I say taking the lead in the conversation.

"Slow."

"So what happened about the actual serial killer? Or was it MacroManiac all along?"

"No he just killed the one DSSI guy."

"Dexter."

"Yeah him, but things have gotten a bit more complicated for the trial, apparently he says since he was stripped if his powers he should be prosecuted in a normal court as a civilian rather than as a Super Villain facing a jury trial by his Superhero peers. It's all semantics really but his alter ego was a lawyer so he knows how to twist the facts around to suit his needs. It won't get that far but until then he's just being detained as opposed to the Maximum Security Prison he should really be in."

"That sucks. Harold's having enough problems dealing with all of this as it is. This is just going to make him into an even more moody teenager."

He tensed next to me, presumably because _he'd_ been turned into a moody teenager because of his father's actions too.

"How's he coping?"

"See here's the thing, I don't know if he's being so sullen because of _that_," After all, saying 'because his father's a super villain' would be far too insensitive considering current company, "Or because of girl problems. I'm leaning towards girl problems personally, because he refused to talk to me about that whereas he had a **lot** to say about MacroManiac. But that might just be because he's reluctant to discuss girls with me."

"What, no bits of friendly advice to give him?" Warren grins at me and I realise why Ellie clung to him so much today. It is quite an experience having those pearly whites flashed into a smile that's just for you. Speaking of pearly whites...

"Your teeth are really straight, did you have braces?"

"Headgear and all."

"What a lovely mental image."

"Well you had them too."

"Yes but they were just the –hey, how did you know that? Are you stalking me? You should know that I know kung fu..." I said and put up my hands threateningly (which he just laughed at).That would have been strange, if he were stalking me while I was stalking him.

"No, I'm not stalking you, I remember from school."

"I thought you didn't remember me from school." I said suspiciously.

"You're right I don't, I just thought I'd try to creep you out."

"Don't try to be creepy, that's my job! Which is really quite disheartening now that I think about it."

"You are the only person I know who actually says disheartening."

I elbow him sharply for that jibe momentarily forgetting that he isn't ...well anything other than my neighbour really and before I could say sorry a million times over for taking liberties with his person he playfully nudged me back lightly. I'm pretty sure my heart and my throat had fused to become one as I shoved him back.

"You know, you're not as grumpy on weekends." The observation comes out of nowhere, but it was true, I mean I don't think he would have come up to me a week back if he'd seen me loitering in a bookshop. He would probably have hidden behind a shelf actually.

"I think by grumpy you mean scary."

"Oh you're never scary."Apparently my answer pleased him because it earned me yet another smile (I was momentarily blinded) and we continued home in the same fashion, shoving each other and bantering the entire way there.

The elevator doors opened to floor four and we stepped out just as I was giggling like a maniac at some story Warren was telling me, when I saw Magenta sitting down outside my apartment, back against my door and a magazine in hand while a variety of luggage bags and suitcases surrounded her and began smirking up at the two of us who just stared in confusion.

"Well, well, well what have we here?" She said, voice dripping with implications of the romantic kind flicking her gaze between the two of us.

"We have Magenta sitting outside my house looking homeless." I deadpan ignoring her innuendo in hopes that she would fill me in.

"Yeah about that, do you mind if I move in with you?"

Well crap.

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**Note: Arwen is a character form Tolkien's Lord of the Ring's trilogy, Moaning Myrtle is a ghost from Harry Potter that haunts a bathroom, owls were used in the Harry Potter-verse to deliver letters and the quote in the beginning is a from Eva Ibbotson's children's novel titled 'Dial a Ghost'.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Previously:**

"_Yeah about that, do you mind if I move in with you?"_

_._

_._

_._

"What happened?!" I said tip toeing my way through the garment bags that were strewed over the hallway and pulled her to her feet.

"Well the flatmate situation has gotten out of hand. _Way_ out of hand. She was going through all my stuff in hopes of getting proof of my 'satanic rituals'."

"But doesn't she do that once a week?" Yes, Magenta had a crazy roommate but she had gotten used to her roommate's brand of crazy even if she didn't particularly like it. Although it may have had more to do with the fact that it was the best apartment she could find in her budget.

"Yes but this time was different, trust me, you don't want to know." She shuddered while Warren and I exchanged a look.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" I said sympathetically only to have Warren snort.

"How would that help?" He asked shoving his hands into his pockets. He seemed to be a lot more sullen then he was before, I wonder why?

"Well, I am sweetness personified and that makes it a bit of a revelation when I go into attack mode." I tell him with a bat of my eyelashes before turning back to the problem at hand. "So do you want me to sit her down, perhaps give her a talking to?"

"No it's okay, I was an idiot to put up with it for such a long time in the first place. I was going to stay with Zack but he doesn't have enough space for all my things."

"So you'll leave your luggage here and stay over at Zack's every other night for fun bouncy times?" I ask innocently and have the satisfaction of watching her turn red as a strangled laugh sounded from Warren before reverting to her unaffected pretence.

(Muahahahahahahaha!)

"For the most part."

"Okay then."

"Great, Warren can you help us with the luggage?"

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"Okay, why'd you really move in with me?" I ask once Warren has helped lug all the many suitcases into the house and Madge and I are sat in the middle of the living room unpacking every single thing she owns into the guest room.

"What?" She could have moved in with Layla and Will, hell she could even have bunked at my parent's place it's even close to work and yet she chose to stay with me. Suspicious.

"No seriously, why are you _really_ here?"

"Well I thought it might be fun to live with my most favourite person ever." _That_ actually made sense, I _am_ pretty awesome. "And this way I get the dirt on you and Warren and get to be the catalyst you need to make your move on him." _That_ did not make sense...

"What?!" I said spluttering and flailing my arms around wildly.

"Okay fine, that's what I told Layla because she kept on asking why I didn't just bunk with her for a bit, plus even Zack is only a fifteen minute drive away so I figured I might as well as live with you."

"Oh. Okay then." I have never experienced relief that intense. But of course Madge wouldn't be sucked into Layla's match-making ploys. Even if it interested her, she wouldn't blatantly manipulate my life like that... right?

RIGHT?!

"So tell me more about your date with Peace."

"What?! Pssh, that wasn't a date!"

"Was there flirting?"

"I don't think so?"

"But you're not sure are you? Food was eaten?"

"Yes. That's kind of the point of eating. To eat food."

"And you exchanged a lot of talk while waiting for the food?"

"You could say that."

"And who paid the bill?"

"I paid for what I ordered he paid for what he did."

She leaned back apparently disappointed with what I said.

"You didn't share any part of the food?"

"Not really. I don't think the bread basket counts, does it?"

"No it does not. I guess it wasn't a date after all."

"I hope not, if this is what counts as a date then you and I have been dating for a loooong time now."

"Wait did you have cheesecake?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because you make sex noises when you eat cheesecake." She said and leaned back apparently very satisfied with what I just said and went back to unpacking.

"WHAT?!"

"You do, you make all these raspy 'Ummms' and breathy sighs and the way you lick the spoon too. I remember last time when we were out with Dan and you had cheesecake, he couldn't stop staring and said that it was like watching porn."

There was nothing for me to do but splutter in indignation.

"Don't worry, now that I'm here everyone is probably going to hang out over here from now on and that's going to add some momentum to... whatever you and Warren have." And the spluttering continues.

"Why would everyone hang out here?!"

"Because Layla will want to hang out here and play matchmaker and she can be very your living room can fit us all comfortably."

"I feel so used

"When do you not?" She said and resumed unpacking ignoring my sulking.

When did I turn into such a pushover?!

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"Are you okay?" Warren asked apprehensively eyeing me and edging away just that little bit as we stand in front of the elevator doors waiting for it to arrive. "You seem a bit... on edge."

"No, really? What gave it away was it the frantic pushing of the elevator button, the fact that my spectacles are crooked and only staying on my face because of the duct tape holding them together or that every single one of my blazers have been stolen by Magenta and I have to wear a freaking trench coat to work?" I must admit that all the other times I have sounded crazy in front of Warren paled in comparison to the sheer high pitched panic in my voice at that point.

"...That's not a blazer?"

"How can you confuse a blazer for a knee length flared trench coat?!" It was only after I said it that I realised that it sounded incredibly scornful and sighed. "I'm sorry, I just feel like I've been on a three day bender."

He tilted his head as if to say continue and I did.

"She's rearranged the furniture thrice already, left the sugar out on the counter and now there are ants everywhere, stolen all of my blazers and broken my glasses 'accidentally'. It's like she thinks it's an unending slumber party but there is only so much girl talk I can take, not to mention the constant cookie dough eating, board games, eating out every day and the utter lack of sleep. Even then I can take all of that but then she constantly..." I stopped there considering that what I was going to talk about was how she kept on bringing up my crush on him and he just raised an eyebrow but thankfully didn't pursue the topic. "This is the second day in a row that I've woken up late, I'm a _teacher_ I can't arrive at school the same time as the students!"

"...I was actually asking about the big yelling match yesterday."

"You heard that?" I asked subdued, surely we hadn't been that loud?

"Oh yes."

"Okay so we had a slight disagreement about my blazers, it kind of blew up and we wound up having a big fight. But that's okay because today we are going to sit down and have a mature discussion wherein we both argue the pros and cons of my blazers to reach a proper decision. If we don't manage to reach an agreement then I steal them back at night while she's away at Zack's place having fun bouncy times."

"Big plans?"

"Oh I intend to sleep."

"And?"

"Sleep some more. Have dreams of sleeping. Actually make the food myself instead of eating from The Paper Lantern every day, I mean that's just pure unhealthy, how can a person live on takeout?!"

"It's not _that_ unhealthy." He said sounding a bit sullen and that's when I realised.

"You live on take out don't you?"

"Yep. That and grilled cheese sandwiches."

"Really? Not even Spanish baked eggs? Maybe a simple pasta dish? Nothing?"

"Well maybe you can make something for him as well while you're celebrating my absence." A sarcastic voice sound from behind me and I turn around to see her leaning against the wall with folded arms, luckily she looks more amused than angry. "I didn't realise that I was so annoying."

"You're not annoying, you're just running things according to your schedule, you may not have to leave for work at six but I do. Also you _stole all my blazers_!"

She sighed and pushed away from the wall, walked over to us and swung an arm over my shoulder.

"Layla called," She said in between yawns, "She needs help."

"What _now_?! I have to get to school, my students need me!" In retrospect that was not the best thing to say and I did fully deserve the mocking look she gave me.

"No not now, apparently Will managed to invite, and I quote, 'Every single superhero in the northern hemisphere and then some' and she's wondering if we could help out with some of the party stuff."

"Oh okay. I guess."

"I'll go tell her then."Madge turned away to walk back and stopped right before entering. "By the way, you are aware that the elevator's come and gone three times while you two were talking right?" And then she left us there standing in an awkward silence when the elevator dinged and appeared for what was supposedly the fourth time.

Needless to say this time we took it.

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"Are you guys okay back there?" Layla's voice filtered over from the living room where she ran around busy as a bee.

"We're fine." Magenta and I yell back.

We'd been there for a few hours, helping Layla set everything up. Well I'd been helping set up everything, Magenta was busy preventing Layla from having a panic attack.

"So how much do we have left to do?" Magenta said, sat atop the counter watching as I chop veggies into a million pieces, presumably in awe of my amazing knife skills.

"Not a lot, most of it is done."

"So this is the help that Layla needed?" The gravelly voice of Warren Peace filled my ears and I turned to see him leaning against the doorway casually lounging around in a smoking hot black button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to show off those lovely flame tattoos on his wrists. I would have swooned and melted into a puddle but that would mean Layla and Magenta would have to finish cooking (after they finish scraping me off the floor of course) and that would **not** be good.

"Yep, she said cooking in large batches is scary so I'm doing it for her." Upon hearing which Magenta cleared her throat. "I mean _we're_ doing it for her." I looked at him rolled my eyes and he cracked a slight smile.

"And Layla sent me in here to?"

"Taste and judge." Magenta said, pointing him towards a pot that was steaming away on the side that had me jumping up to stop them.

"Oh be careful it's really hot!"Magenta and Warren turned to give me a look of annoyance and badly concealed amusement. "What?"

"You do realise who it is that you're talking to right?" Magenta says while Warren leaned against the counter and watched the conversation unfold with a look of amusement.

"Warren?"

I blinked in confusion and Magenta sighed."And?"

"Warren Peace?"

Which is when Magenta sighed and Warren began smirking.

"Warren Peace the pyrokinetic, I really don't think a little bit of heat concerns him!" She deadpanned and moved the pot to Warren with a defiant look and handed him a spoon.

"If you say so." I said and went back to chopping, wondering how I managed to forget that about his powers, only to hear him curse and cough just a few seconds later.

"It's hot." He said sheepishly and Magenta shook her head in disappointment while I laughed.

"It's like with dragons Madge, the inside isn't usually fireproof. Besides which I put three whole bird's eye chillies in there. That, my friends, is a heat even flame starters can't handle. Also, I was right and _you were wrong_." I said the latter in a sing song tone.

Magenta threw me a dirty look and Warren said thanks as I handed him a glass of water (in the past hour I had become very familiar with Layla's kitchen) and asked, "You do realise that was the curry base and you weren't actually supposed to taste it, right?" His blank expression said it all.

"Madge could you help me get ready?!" Layla yelled again, this time from the doorway itself. The pointed look she gave me as she left made it ridiculously obvious that this was them meddling again. I still don't understand why they're so intent on Warren and me getting together.

"You have flour on your nose." He said while I stirred.

"Where?" I begin rubbing my nose like it was a lamp and a genie might come out of it. Not particularly graceful but come on, who wants flour on their face?

"No it's just-" He reached out and I had a mini heart attack wondering if he was actually going to brush it off himself, watching in slow motion as his hand crept closer and closer to me but he stopped just before his hand touched my face he stopped and pointed it out instead. "It's right there." I brushed it off and we sat in awkward silence before the bell rang.

"I'm going to go-"

"Yeah, me too."

Aaaaawkward!

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"Why so serious?!" My voice rang out on the empty roof in a low menacing tone as I held a knife poised and ready to slash. "Let's put a smile on that face!"

"What did that pumpkin ever do to you?" My dearest neighbour's voice shook me out of my thoughts, I whirled around, startled, only to find him climbing up the ladder that lead to the rooftop. "What are you doing here all by yourself?"

"Oh, well Magenta and Zack are off sucking face, Will and Layla are socializing, I already played wingman to Ethan and set him up with this girl and I don't really know anyone else here. What about you?" I asked him as he settled himself next to me on the brick ledge of the terrace.

"Magenta and Zack are off sucking face, Will and Layla are socializing, Ethan didn't ask me to be his wingman and I know _too many _of the people there. Making Jack O' lanterns?"

"I got bored of blowing kisses at the moon so Layla gave me some pumpkins to carve." I said with a shrug, "You can do it too, I have five pumpkins that are wonderfully blank.", and handed him a pretty little pumpkin to destroy.

"I don't have a carving knife." He said throwing the pumpkin around from one hand to the other.

"Here, you can take mine." I handed him mine and picked up my coat from where it was thrown on the floor and got my switchblade out of the pocket.

"Why do you have a knife in your coat?" He asked incredulously. I don't know why people think it so strange, a knife is an incredibly useful tool to have, and my knife only more so.

"This isn't just a knife, it's a Swiss army knife that Professor Medulla modified for me. Apart from the usual attachments like the screwdriver, tweezers, corkscrew, scissors, saw etc, it also has a lock picking set and a miniature set of the usual ray guns attached." When I first got it I stroked it and called it my 'Preciousssss' in Gollum's voice. It's fairly safe to say that I'm a little bit in love with it.

"What no grappling hook?" He said it jokingly but the fact was that Professor Medulla was working on adding the grappling hook function. When I told that to Warren he just gave me an amused look before going back to carving the pumpkin, shaking his head at me. "How long until I get one of these?"

"These aren't for field heroes, your utility belts already have most of these functions, they're mainly for the ones working undercover who need to pull their weapons out of thin air. Speaking of pulling things out of air," Apparently aware of where I was going with this he groaned and began glaring at me. "Where'd you learn your magic tricks?" I was of course referring to the time when my niece was with me at the mall and he got her all happy by pulling flowers from behind her ear.

He stiffened when I said that and looked away from me, staring pointedly at his pumpkin. "My Dad taught me." Ah yes, the ever sensitive topic that was his father.

"My Dad taught me how to make a bomb out of regular household materials. That and the manufacture process for penicillin."

"You're kidding?" Utter incredulity replaced the stiff awkwardness and normality was resumed.

"Oh, I never kid about penicillin, I take it quite seriously." Soon the final touches were added to my pretty pumpkin. " And I'm done!" I leapt up in excitement and put the candle into the pumpkin with care. Warren had stopped carving his pumpkin (that's what she said *insert eyebrow waggle here* ...get it, get it? Fine, screw you!) to see my masterpiece. "Behold the Orange Squash of DOOOOOM- Oh crap, I forgot the matchbox!"

"What, your knife doesn't have a flame thrower?" He asked sarcastically

"No." I have to remember to tell Professor Medulla to add that. "I'll just go get one from downstairs I guess." I pout before brushing all the pumpkin shavings off my jeans but before I could get up, with a little flick of his finger Peace lit the candle in my pumpkin.

"I keep forgetting that you're a pyrokinetic." We share a look then turn back to the glow-y orange vegetable and the urge to sing overcomes me. "_C'mon baby, light my fire_."

Oh look, he blushes!

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	12. Chapter 12

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The sound of the phone jerked me out of my school induced stupor (it was a half-day and I wasn't used to flying the vespa with the sun's glare directed towards me) and I looked at the caller id to see that Daniel, my pseudo-brother was calling.

"_Guess where I am!"_ Daniel said excitedly shouting to be heard over the background sound of taxis and shouting people.

"New York?"

"_... I don't know how you got that,"_

"Pure guesswork."

"_Yes well I'm in New York now, but I'll be in Maxville for the next two weeks, so do you want to catch a movie?"_

"I have work to do."

"_I can talk to your boss, come on don't you want to just hang out?"_

"We hang out all the time, why are you being clingy all of a sudden?"

"_We hang out online, that's not the same thing, I mean come on I'm in the same city as you and you can't even spare a few moments for me? By the way I need a date for the Maxville Museum gala." _

"I knew it. You always have ulterior motives, now why aren't you taking Sarah with you?"

"_We broke up."_

"Are you serious? You find yourself an awesomely hot girlfriend who is smart, eats like a pig and watches horror movies for fun and is willing to go with you to play laser tag with you and you screw it up? What is wrong with you?"

"_How do you know I screwed it up? Maybe _she_ was the one who messed up."_

"No she didn't because Sarah is awesome and she doesn't screw things up, unless she's singing. Oh my god, is that what you did, you criticized her singing didn't you?"

"_...In my defence she sounded really, really bad. She completely butchered Adele."_

"Did you apologize?"

"_I tried but she isn't picking up the phone and the one time she did, she was drunk and crying and she said some horrible things. I don't see us getting back together any time soon and I _cannot_ afford to show up at the gala dateless."_

"I'll consider it if you consider calling Sarah."

"_Fine."_

"Fine."

"_So about the movie?"_

"I still have to work. And no, you cannot talk to my boss about it, plus I have a special lesson lined up and it is going to be totally awesome!"

I realised then that I use the word awesome far too much, from henceforth it shall be substituted by amazing. Once things with Daniel had been settled, I skipped my way home, happy as ever could be. I had not run into Mr Peace at all today and even if I had, I had reason to believe I would be able to hold a normal conversation with him. Or so I thought.

Until I got off the elevator cab and headed toward my precious door and heard my mum's voice calling me.

"Angel!" Yes, my parents call me Angel, they are big on the irony.

"Mummy," I said, laughing nervously through my teeth. "What are you doing here?"

Because Mum wasn't waiting for me at my house or anything, no she was sitting in Warren's living room having the time of her life. And he was actually smiling. Like proper smiling as opposed to the half smiles and smirks and amused looks that I always get. In the matter of one day my mum had made more progress than me with my neighbour who I see on an almost daily basis.

"I came to see you and you weren't here so I thought I'd pay Robin a visit. I completely forgot that she'd gotten married of course and Warren was lovely enough to let me wait here for you."

"How did you forget that Mrs Robinson got married, you made her wedding dress?! And why didn't you just let yourself in using the spare key?" And my hands started doing their normal flailing curling motion again.

"You gave it to Magenta remember?" Warren said helpfully and the hand that was flailing took its place resting against my side, utterly limp.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that." I tittered nervously. "So, Mum what are you doing here?"

"Oh Daniel called, he said you'd need a date to the gala."

"That little tattle-tale, I just said I'd consider it, not that I agreed to it!" I said more to myself than anyone else and as if fully aware of that both Warren and Mummy ignored my indignation.

"Now come on I have takeout from The Paper Lantern." She said the magical words that would have me opening the door to just about anyone and then went and ruined it all. "Warren darling, there's enough for three why don't you join us."

"There isn't enough in here for three!" I said peering through the bags precariously.

"There is if we share."

"I don't share. That's why you told me I couldn't have any siblings, so you can't tell me to share now." I said blinking innocently.

"Fine then I'll share my part with him."

"He doesn't want to." I didn't want him to stick around to watch my Mum grill me and tell him embarrassing stories about when I was a kid and an idiot.

"Angelica..." She said sternly and I knew I was screwed, she never calls me Angelica unless she thinks I'm misbehaving. I sighed and turned to Warren with a fake and polite smile (although they're both the same really).

"Would you please join us for lunch?" I said, a painful smile taking over my face.

"Please, I insist." My mother chimed in when he hesitated and like with most people, he couldn't tell my mother no.

"Say yes before my mouth gets stuck like this." I said the expression on my face not changing one bit.

"Okay." Clearly amused Warren follows my mother into my house. You know considering the fact I am the owner, I have very little authority over my house, between Madge and Layla and my Mum and now Warren, everyone seems to just drop in without asking me.

"So is Daniel fighting with Sarah again?" Mum asked while setting the table.

"Yeah, he messed up but I'm going to make him apologise to her so it'll be fine."

"When is that boy going to settle down and stop fighting what he has with Sarah." She sighed and turned to me and I backed away in alarm, when mum fixes me with that look in her eyes I know it's time to scram. "For that matter when are you going to settle down and stop fighting yourself. And don't bother hiding behind your 'I don't believe in commitment' crap when you've just helped patch Danny and Sarah up."

"It's not that I don't believe in commitment it's that I don't believe that I'm capable of such commitment, there is a difference between the two. It takes a lot of effort to be in a long term relationship and I'd much rather focus on teaching my students so they don't kill themselves by going into the fight without being prepared." I cannot believe my Mum was having this conversation with me in front of my... I mean in front of Warren, because he isn't my anything really.

"Always with the excuses, first it was your powers, now this. Your Dad wants you to call him by the way, something about the readings for something being off the charts and the suppressor acting up, I don't know."

"Suppressor?" Warren broke in with a look of surprise.

"Suppressor, what suppressor, I don't know what that means. My mum and her silliness." I said laughing awkwardly only to be called out on my bullshit when my mum and Warren fix me with combined stares that said 'What the hell are you high on?'."Fine I'll call Dad."

"You haven't told Warren about your suppressor?!" My mother said sounding like I did something scandalous as if it's something that needs mentioning, I mean really a girl has a right to her secrets.

"It's not on my list of priorities, I don't think about my suppressor every second of the day you know."

"Still, that you wouldn't let a close friend know about your suppressor just reeks of unresolved issues, have I not taught you anything?"

"Unresolved issues? You think the fact that thinking about Harry Potter and devising training regimes for Power Development class rather than thinking about a device that controls my existence reeks of unresolved- Yeah okay when I put it like that I can see where you're going with this, but it just doesn't occur to me to tell people that. Plus he isn't that close a friend, I mean he hasn't even touched Daniel or Madge's territory."

"You mean brother figure and BFF territory, yeah I'll pass." He said with a snort.

"Daniel's not a brother figure!" Twin looks of disbelief were directed at me. "He's an actual brother, we did the blood bond thingy, you know where we cut our thumbs and then let the blood mix...I am digging my own grave here aren't I?"

"How have you not ended up in the hospital yet?!" Warren asked in disbelief.

"Oh she has, many times in fact. And for reasons that make the blood bond thing look perfectly reasonable and quite normal."My mum said as if she was making a casual observation and I began to defend myself.

"It is perfectly reasonable and normal for twelve year olds who have just read a book in which the main characters do a similar thing to think that it is okay to do a blood bond. Besides which I took all the right precaution, the knife was not rusty at all, in fact I had one of Dad's lancet ready in case Danny got scared of the knife-"

"That's another thing, what's with the knives Mercado?" He said to me again, apparently in the few moments he had spent talking to my mother he had gained an ability to talk to me in sentences that were not in fact monosyllables

"Ah yes, the knives, there's yet another unresolved issue there." My mother said nodding sagely.

"Muuum!"

The two laughed at me like I wasn't even there.

"What we can't have a bit of fun at your expense? I'm sure you and Madge have laughed plenty of times over things your Dad and I have done."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What's with the 'we' you just met the guy!"

"Only because you don't let us meet any of your boys-"

"He's not my boy!" Why would she even think that?!

"Pity, I was hoping you'd finally settle down this year." She sighed and I spluttered and Warren was suddenly drained of all his amusement. I would have laughed and said 'Ha, not feeling so chummy now are you!' but I was busy twitching like an octopus in a frying pan. "I'm beginning to think I'll never get grandchildren."

"Can we please change the topic?" I said exasperated.

"Fine, so if Warren isn't your 'boy' then can you please find an actual boyfriend, or are you just going to go on and on about how you don't need a man to make you happy and that a relationship is too much hassle, blah, blah, blah. You say that so often it just reeks of denial."

"Well maybe if we didn't have a million relatives who all felt the need to inquire about my relationship status, I wouldn't have to say it that often." Which is true really, I mean I have wayyyy too many aunts and uncles and cousins who all seem to ask me 'So when are you getting married?' every single time. Families are weird.

Warren's phone rang at that opportune moment. "Excuse me." He said and went out to the hallway to take the call while Mummy followed his movements closely and whipped her head around to turn to me the second he was out of earshot.

"Aren't you a lucky one, when Robin moved out I thought I'd have to start worrying about you and instead you end up with a gorgeous neighbour instead."

"What?! " Seriously, my mum thinks that Warren Peace is hot? That gives 'Like Mother, like Daughter' a whole other meaning.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed, his -"

"Mum you are my parent and I must remind you that I will always, _always_ want to see you as an asexual person so please don't go around changing that."

"You're the one who thought I was going to make a sexual remark about him not me." She tcched in disapproval."_Somebody's projecting._"She said in a sing song voice.

"Pfft projecting, what a load of... monkey crud."

"Are you censoring yourself again?" Mum said with a cluck of her tongue.

"I don't want to slip and say any bad words in front of my students so I'm practising being polite." I whined. Why can no one understand that I'm trying to set a good example for my students?!

"There are no polite words for how hot that boy is."

And let the hit-your-head-against-a-solid-object-until-you-die -or-lose-your-memory project begin.

"You do realise that there's an entire section of your forehead that's red." Warren said the second he came back in.

"Yes I banged my head against my wall as I was consumed by mortification."

"Stop talking like a book, dear, it makes you look strange. Well stranger than you usually do."

"If you burnt me alive right now, I would be eternally grateful." I pleaded Warren who just smiled and shook his head.

"I'm pretty sure I'd manage to embarrass you even after you die."Mum continued.

"Yes but I won't be alive to live through it. Do they give all parents lessons on how to embarrass your children? Are there some pre-natal classes for that too?" I said before turning back to Warren." So about the roasting me alive bit...?

"I'm afraid I'll have to 'roast you alive' some other day. Duty calls."

"You lucky bastard."

"I'm glad that spending time with me is so horrifying for you." Mum comments sarcastically and I drop my head into my arms with a groan, would this day never end?!

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"Laundry day?" Warren asks as I step out of my house hauling a bag that probably weighs as much as I do.

"More like Mummy-came-over-and-gave-me-a-lot-of-clothes-and-I -want-to-wash them-because-I-don't-really-know-exactly-where-the y've-been day." I turn around still struggling with the bag only to see he has a basket filled with clothes in his hands. "Are you doing laundry too?"

"Yeah."

"Great you can help me drag this thing around." I said enlisting his help.

"You're going to drag it all the way to the Laundromat on Main Street?"

Which is when I give him a look. "No I was going to drag it to the laundry room downstairs."

He paused. "There's a laundry room in the building?"

"Yeah it's in the basement, didn't you know that?"

"...Not really."

"How do you not know that? There are notes put up nearly every week on the notice board by Ms Oliver downstairs because she keeps on losing stuff in the laundry room. Last time it was four socks (all different of course) and a scrunchie that she lost. I don't know why anyone would wash a scrunchie though."

I don't even know why Ms Oliver had a scrunchie to begin with, her hair is too short for a ponytail.

"...There's a notice board?"

"Welcome to the building, didn't you check out all this stuff before getting this place?"

"...No?"

I looked over into his basket wondering what constitutes as laundry for Warren Peace only to find myself staring at swathes and swathes of white fabric.

"You don't have any clothes in there?"

"My grandmother said she might drop by over the weekend." He said by way of an explanation. "I'm pretty sure somewhere in between nagging me to get a girlfriend she's going to inspect the apartment."

"Does she give you a great-grandchildren speech too?" I said sympathetically. My aunt gives me those speeches in which she says 'biological clock is ticking away' a lot. It's not really fun. At least Mummy just wants me to be in a relationship. Actually I think Mummy would be happy if I just brought someone home to 'meet the parents' so to speak. She probably thinks I'm living the life of a nun (which as of late _is_ a bit true I guess) considering how little she knows of my personal life. In comparison to Aunt Lucy she's really not that bad.

"Your mother really wanted you to...what was it she said? Oh yes, 'settle down'."

A ding stops me from answering, without realising it we had made it to the elevator and were now at the ground floor, mere steps away from giant vibrating washing machines!

I probably shouldn't be this excited about doing laundry.

Then again I probably shouldn't harbour a crush on my neighbour the size of Eurasia either but what are you gonna do?

"There's been a laundry room here the whole time and I've been going all the way to Main Street for clean clothes." He moved over to one of the washing machines, shaking his head.

"I hate to bring you down but there's a Laundromat just two blocks away near the traffic signal, even if you didn't know there's a laundry room here, you never needed to go _that_ far."

He pauses in the middle of pouring detergent into the slot and turns to give me a blank look.

"Tell me you're kidding."

"Sorry but I'm not. When the basement flooded last year I had to go there and I know that it's the closest place to get daisy freshness."

He pushed his sleeve up and a muscle in his jaw twitched. I took the moment to admire the cut of his jaw. And his mouth. And other things.

But then the need to laugh took over me.

"I can't believe you went all the way to Main Street to do laundry." I said in between snorts while separating my clothes.

He was saved from answering when Magenta burst into the room.

"Angie you need to come up quickly." She says in between heavy pants. "Now!"

"What happened?!"

"I was trying to boil an egg and –"

"Say no more, you do the laundry, I'll go and fix it and put out the fire or whatever has gone wrong this time." I push her towards the giant vibrating machines (I just like saying that, it sounds so _dirty_) before turning to Warren. "Good luck with your grandmother." I said and ran like there was wind beneath my feet, thoroughly annoyed at having my interlude with Warren interrupted, all because of a boiled egg.

No wonder Layla's a vegan.

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It is a universally known fact that cleaning is generally boring. It is only a slightly lesser known fact (in my opinion) that I like cleaning a lot. But the fact that is most famous is that cleaning is not boring when you do it while singing songs and dancing to them like a wild woman using a broom ( that you do not _really_ need because hellooo, vacuum cleaner anybody?!) as a dance partner.

And on this most glorious of Saturdays when Magenta was out screwing her brightly coloured boyfriend, I was throwing my head back and forth and rocking out to The Moulin Rouge soundtrack while dragging the broom on the floor in a great big swoop throwing my leg over it and dragging my knee up it like it was a microphone stand and I was the sexy lounge singer (I wish).

This is the scene that Warren Peace walked into, two days after my Mum had swooped down upon us, when he entered my house, pulled me into his arms, grabbed my chin and pulled my face up only to plant one soft, warm and intense kiss on my lips, whispered 'Just run with it' and proceeded to turn around and smile brightly at the frail old lady that he had apparently brought into my house throwing his arm around my shoulders casually while I looked on, wide eyed with shock.

"Grams, this is my girlfriend."

That is when the shit hit the proverbial fan.

"Oh Angelica I thought you were still going through your 'I don't need a man' phase! Your Mum and Dad are going to be so pleased to hear this!" His grandmother, also known to me as Mrs Carter said excitedly and I paled while Warren's arm around my shoulders tightened.

And that is when the shit _really_ hit the fan.

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**A/N: Does this chapter feel a bit disjointed?**

**A/N 2.0:I edited the chapter quite heavily and made a lot of additions.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I know, I know, I'm horrible for not updating but I don't know what it was with this one chapter that was so difficult, I've got so much of the next few chapters done already but this one eluded me. Still, I have no excuses for my behaviour and I hope you shall forgive me although I do not deserve it.**

_Previously_**:**

_This is the scene that Warren Peace walked into, two days after my Mum had swooped down upon us, when he entered my house, pulled me into his arms, grabbed my chin and pulled my face up only to plant one soft, warm and intense kiss on my lips, whispered 'Just run with it' and proceeded to turn around and smile brightly at the frail old lady that he had apparently brought into my house throwing his arm around my shoulders casually while I looked on, wide eyed with shock._

_"Grams, this is my girlfriend."_

_That is when the shit hit the proverbial fan._

_"Oh Angelica I thought you were still going through your 'I don't need a man' phase! Your Mum and Dad are going to be so pleased to hear this!" His grandmother, also known to me as Mrs Carter said excitedly and I paled while Warren's arm around my shoulders tightened._

_And that is when the shit really hit the fan._

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**.**

In the sixty seconds of awkward silence that followed his grandmother's exclamation I suddenly had a vision, a vision of how this entire scene was going to play out. Mrs Carter had been informed by her grandson Warren Peace (It occurs to me that for all the semi stalking I've done of this guy, I had no idea that my aunt's former neighbour, the one I have known for so many years now, was his grandmother. As a stalker, I kind of fail. Terribly.) that I was his girlfriend, an announcement that had come shortly after he had walked into my house (mis)using my spare key and kissed me, freaking kissed me, on the lips too albeit in a relatively chaste manner although it was still quite hot and very, very nice.

She was inevitably going to tell Aunt Lucy. Aunt Lucy would tell Mum. They would squeal to high heaven and come over to hound me and Warren about it. I would deny it, Warren would try to explain it, they would insist that the two of us looked good together, Aunt Lucy would make blatant references to grandchildren, I would freak out, Warren would freak out, we'd proceed to avoid each other for days after and once they finally accepted the fact that Warren and I were not together in any form they would proceed to set me up on a million blind dates with various friends' sons and I would be horribly, horribly screwed.

The outcome was unwanted and unavoidable. So I did what any rational, sane person would do.

I pulled him down to my eye level by his collar and kissed him properly. And by properly I mean with tongue and hair tugging. It took him a few seconds to respond but when he did, oh but when he did, it blew my mind.

I've been kissed before, hot steamy kisses with groping hands but nothing prepared me for the soft and utterly _intense_ assault of his lips on mine. There was warmth spreading all through me and it had nothing to do with the fact that he was a pyro and everything to do with the graze of his calloused fingers on my cheek as he tilted my face even closer to his, drew my lower lip into his mouth and suckled. Just when I thought it couldn't possibly get better he wrapped one arm around my waist pulling me in closer swallowing the moan that ensued when his knuckle ran up the curve of my back under the shirt.

Eventually we had to stop to breathe and also because Mrs Carter was clearing her throat in an attempt to pull us back to earth once his hand moved from my waist to ...other places. I don't know about Warren but it didn't really work on me, there's no coming back to earth after the best kiss you've ever had.

"Well, that was new." Mrs Carter said with a Cheshire grin. "And Angelica, I'm guessing that you don't want your aunt to know about this."

"Wait seriously? You're not going to tell her?" Because Mrs Carter is my Aunt's comrade in arms, her co conspirator, the peanut butter to her jelly, in other words, the likelihood of her not telling my Aunt was very, very low. Although even Mrs Carter had seemed appalled by the results of Aunt Lucy's last attempt at matchmaking. It had ended in the emergency room and not in a good way either.

"Well I know Lucy's been giving you some trouble about-"

Only before she can finish her sentence I have flung myself at her and given her the biggest hug ever.

Because I get to kiss Warren Peace AND Aunt Lucy doesn't find out about this? That has all the makings of the best day EVER!

"Oh thank you, thank you, _thank you_! I could kiss you right now!"

"No need for that, don't want Warren here getting jealous." She laughed and waved at Warren (who had been silent since I, well since I tried my best to kiss him senseless). "I'll be going now and leave you lovebirds alone."

"Bye!" I answered for the two of us as she left and turned around only to find myself staring right into the eyes of Warren Peace who was suddenly much closer than he had been before.

"What," His voice was rougher now much to my feminine satisfaction "was that?"

"That was dodging a bullet."

"That's not what I was talking about."

I knew he was talking about the kiss (my kiss not his, the second one with the groping and the mauling and the tongue running over the roof of my mouth and...let's not go there) but just shrugged, not really sure what was going on in my mind when I pretty much forced him to make out with me. "Your grandmother is my aunt's neighbour and I thought that she was going to tell my aunt about this and I was going to be utterly screwed. So I figured I'd at least get a good kiss out of it."

"You..." I had managed to render Warren speechless. Although considering that he barely talks as it is that's not _really_ much of an achievement. "What do you mean screwed?" He said giving me an inscrutable look.

"I mean that my aunt, who has taken it upon herself to find me a boy because she is not handling retirement well, would have gone to go to crazy town if she heard half of what happened here and then I would have been harassed by the two shrews that are my mum and her sister and considering how highly Mummy thinks of you from your meeting two days ago already, you would have been dragged into it as well, which is only fair considering that this all started when you misused the spare key I trusted you with." He had the courtesy to look ashamed.

"Does she really get that bad?"

"Your grandmother volunteered to keep it from her because she knows exactly how bad Aunt Lucy gets, did that not give you enough of an idea?" I sigh and collapse onto the couch and he follows close behind sinking into the armchair. "She keeps on setting me up on blind dates and my mum gets involved and they show up and use me as a personal Barbie and dress me up for whichever one of their friend's sons has been suckered into it. Even Dad who is horribly overprotective of me is scared of her and doesn't do that much to get me out of the dates. They've only just begun to let up and I really don't want to get into all that again."

"Can't you just tell them to get off your back?"

"You mean like you did?" I shoot him a pointed look.

"I see what you mean." He acceded to my point. "Well at least we got out of that okay."

"No lasting mental damage, that calls for a celebration. And a drink. Tequila okay? I still have some left over from last time."

He hesitated for just a second before shrugging. "Why not?"

Within a minute I had two shot glasses out and filled them up to the brim with ze alcohol without spilling any of it and he looked suitably impressed.

See I knew the skills I picked up in my bartending stint would come in handy one day.

"Bottoms up." With a clink of our glasses we downed the shot and after a few seconds of spluttering he started talking again. "So I was hoping to keep what just happened between the two of us."

"What I'm good enough for your grandmother and not for your friends?" I deadpanned not actually offended. Well not much anyway.

"They're you're friends too. And I don't really want Magenta to go around thinking I took advantage of you."

Which is weird because Magenta would have absolutely no problem if he took advantage of me. Mainly because I'd be taking advantage of him right back.

"Yeah I can only imagine what she would say if she found out that you kissed me. In front of your grandmother. After telling her that I'm your girlfriend."

"You did what?" Madge exclaimed from the doorway hauling a giant dress bag, Layla peering over her shoulder with wide eyes, probably shocked by what she had heard.

"How the hell did you get in, Warren has the spare key." I questioned Madge while she strode into the room ignoring me only to dump the dress bag onto the couch and Layla gave Warren a look and he sighed. I recognised the face he was making, it said 'There's no way out of this, is there?' .I often made that look when dealing with Layla and Madge too.

"I had a copy of your keys made within an hour of owning it." She wavedoff my disbelief before turning to Warren while the rest of the gang joined her in the living room. "So you told your grandmother that Angie's your girlfriend and made out with her?"

Will and Zack sensibly stayed quiet and just observed. Ethan just barely opened his mouth to talk when Zack slapped a hand over his jaw and shook his head at the shorter man in warning.

"The second time was all her." Warren quickly pointed at me. Tattle tale. If only he weren't so adorable.

"Second time?" This time it was Layla's turn to do the questioning. "Well well, what have we here?"

"It's no big deal." I tried to wave it off flippantly. It did not work.

"Then why didn't you want to tell us about it?"

"Because _you_ would have made it into a big deal."

"Well you can either tell us now or we'll subtly undermine you at every step and hound you into telling us." They would do that too, it fell in with their modus operandi perfectly.

Luckily for me Warren was fully willing to take the lead and managed to explain how his grandmother had asked about Freezie (what _is_ that girl's name?!) and kept on making subtle insinuations about how he should get out there and just go for it and he knew that I was still in the house because he had heard me vacuuming earlier and told his grandmother there's someone he'd like her to meet and that's when the rest of it happened.

"Yes I understand all that but what's this I hear about a second time?" Layla asked, having not forgotten that tiny detail that Warren had let slip. A green thumb and a memory like an elephant, what can't that girl do?

"Well as it turns out, I know Warren's grandmother. She's Mrs Carter."

"As in Aunt Lucy's-" Magenta asked, knowing all the stories about those two, some even from firsthand experience.

"Yep."I said emphatically.

"So is she going to tell -"

"No she's not blabbing yet."

"Oh you lucky, _lucky_ bitch."

"I know!"

"Does anyone know what they're talking about?" Zack asked confusedly. It occurred to me then that they had no clue who Aunt Lucy was and Madge and I proceeded to explain all of it to them.

"So the second time-?" Because Layla is like a dog with a bone and was still unsatisfied.

"I saw my life flash in front of my eyes, panicked and did something impulsive."

"But really Warren you don't just go around kissing people!" Layla scolded him finally getting off my back but not before shooting me a wink that made Will suspicious.

"Especially people who are sexually frustrated and haven't had sex in six months." Magenta told Warren disapprovingly although I'm pretty sure it was more to mock me than anything else.

It is true though.

"Six Months? Really?" He said giving me a strange look.

"Out of all the things she said, that's the one thing you heard?"

"Yes." Said Warren, Will, Ethan and Zack simultaneously.

Boys are stupid. A sentiment that Layla and Magenta shared as they hit their boyfriends over the head. Maybe I should have hit Warren too, he is kind of my pseudo-boyfriend. Then again I'd probably just melt if I came into contact with his hair. And maybe just run my fingers through it like I did when we were making out and...

I _really_ need to get laid.

"Hey Angie I thought Warren's grandmother said she wasn't going to blab?" Magenta said suddenly, deeply fixated by her phone that had beeped just a few seconds ago.

"She said she wouldn't tell Aunt Lucy."

"Well I don't think she extended that to your Mom, I've just receive a text from her asking me why Id didn't tell her that you and Warren are dating."

"Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, I can't believe-"And then while I was mid sentence my phone rang, sounding ridiculously ominous, mainly because the designated ringtone for this person was the Jaws theme.

"It's Mum." I looked at the phone suspiciously. No good could come of this.

"Don't just stare at it, pick it up!"

"I don't want to." If Mum found out...it could not possibly be good.

Apparently Magenta had reached the end of her tether because she snapped the phone out of my hands and answered it.

"Hey Mrs Mercado...Yeah she's right here...No she hasn't seen it yet...Oh I know she didn't tell me about them either and I _live_ with her-"

"Give me that!" I said having suddenly realised that Magenta was adding fuel to the fire and not defending me or actually informing my mother about the true status of the relationship between Warren and I(see also: nonexistent), snatched the phone out of her hands fixing a glare upon her which went ignored as she just rolled her eyes at me while Layla sniggered. "Heeeey Mum!"

_"I see you took my advice and got it on with that gorgeous neighbour."_

"MUM!" I said while Dad emulated my choked reply on the other side of the phone which was clearly on speaker mode.

_"Angel you cannot see this boy anymore."_

"Okay Dad!"

_"Nathaniel you can't just tell her to stop seeing him!"_

"Yes he can!" I agree wholeheartedly with Daddy for once.

_"You see, she agrees with me."_

_"She's obviously lying to get us off her back while in reality they're shacking up."_

_"Shacking up, what do you mean shacking up?"_

_"Well they're neighbours so obviously -"_

_"My baby girl is shacking up with some guy?! What is wrong with the universe?!" _He exclaims and in my mind's eye I can see him throwing his hands up into the air. Because contrary to popular belief I actually get my sense of melodrama from my Dad. The manipulative violence is from my Mum though.

_"Nathaniel she's a grown woman, not your baby girl, besides don't you think it's suspicious how she's agreeing with you so easily? When was the last time __**that**__ happened?"_

A pregnant pause follows.

_"That _is_ suspicious."_ I can feel the gears in his head turning as mummy's manipulations take effect and almost cry. There is no way out of this now. _"Bring him to Ellie's birthday so we can vet him."_

"That's a bit much. And Mum was the one who made the rule to not bring any dates, which is not to say that Warren and I are...you know, to any family parties because then we have to go through the process of trying to remember the names of random people while going through photo albums when we're old and decrepit."

On my side of the phone, Magenta's colourful friends gave me a strange look.

_"That's not what I-"_

"Rules are rules Mum. I cannot bend them just for your sake." When in doubt go with the blitz form of attack.

_"Fine but this isn't over yet, remember we know where both of you live and I have connections."_ She threatened in a sing-song voice (really, why do all the people in my family have to be batshit crazy?) and laughed maniacally before hanging up the phone.

I sink into my wonderful haven of a sofa only to find everyone staring at me.

"I need a drink."

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End file.
